Trauma and Sleep — Don’t Lose Hope

“Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs.” ― Bessel A. van der Kolk If you have experienced a trauma of some kind, your brain will now be programmed to expect danger or threat. So, […]

Trauma and Sleep — Don’t Lose Hope

Hope Born from Ashes — Don’t Lose Hope

“You may shoot me with your words. You may cut me with your eyes. You may kill me with your hatefulness. But still, like air, I’ll rise.” – Maya Angelou Let these words inspire you when the struggle feels too much. When you feel defeated, and there’s pressure to give in. Inside you, there is […]

Hope Born from Ashes — Don’t Lose Hope

You are Brave. You are Strong.

“Strength is what we gain from the madness we survive.”

Keep this at the forefront of your mind.

Hang onto this truth when it all feels too much.

You will not be overwhelmed by the struggle and the fight.

Within you there is courage that you never knew you had.

You are going to win the battle. Do not listen to the lies.

And when all of this is over you, you will see how strong you are.

How to be More Thick-Skinned

1. Don’t take criticism personally. Instead, realize that criticism says more about them than it does about you.

2. Distinguish between facts and subjectivity. Most criticisms are just personal opinions. They are not objective and they don’t reflect the truth.

3. Look at the beliefs you hold about yourself. Do you feel defensive and under attack because you don’t believe in yourself?

4. Learn what you can from any comments that are made – and discard the rest as being useless information.

5. Decide not to ruminate on barbs or criticisms – as that will reinforce the faulty message in your brain.

6. Choose to spend more time with people who’re affirming – and minimise the time you spend with those who put you down.

7. Look for a role model who can handle criticism – and try to copy them, so you become more thick skinned, too.

Three Truths to Live By — Don’t Lose Hope

“Live authentically. Live your truth.” In a youtube interview by Lewes Howes, relationship guru Esther Perel was asked a very thought-provoking question: “Imagine, on your death bed you could leave behind 3 truths, 3 life experiences, or 3 lessons to live by, what would those be?” Here is a summary of Esther’s answers: 1. “The […]

Three Truths to Live By — Don’t Lose Hope

How to Accept Yourself

1. Focus on your positive qualities. It’s true that we can all improve in some ways – but start by finding your good qualities – and recognise that these are a major part of who you are.

2. Be aware of, and fight against, your negative self-talk. Negative self talk can quickly snowball and become an angry tirade against yourself – so you become your own worst critic and your own worst enemy. Instead, choose to respect yourself, to love, affirm and believe in yourself.

3. Don’t dwell on things you know you cannot change. We all have imperfections, weaknesses and flaws. They’re really not that crucial, and they’re not that big a deal. Try to keep them in perspective – and change what you CAN change.

4. Make your own decisions – don’t always look to others, and think that they know better … But choose to trust yourself, and your own decision-making.

5. Always try to do your best – as that’s all that is required. You’re a normal human being who’ll sometimes get it wrong. When you do, forgive youself, and then just move on with your life.

When you want to give up

1. Remember why you started – what your reasons were. What was the “spark” that got you going, and inspired you to begin on the journey you are on?

2. List all the reasons why you can persevere, and make it to the end so you reach your goal. Remind yourself you have what you need to succeed.

3. Give yourself permission to give up if you choose. That reminds you that it’s you who is in control. You’re choosing to do this as it’s what you want to do.

4. Think of all the reasons why you should persevere – as that will stop you thinking about why you should give up. What are the benefits? What will you gain? How will you feel when you’ve reached your goal?

5. Instead of concentrating on the struggle and the work, focus all that energy on looking for solutions.

6. Recognise success will require some sacrifice. It’s always lots of work, and every winner pays a price. “No pain no gain” is a basic truth in life.

How to Develop Self-Compassion

1. Acknowledge to yourself that you’re having a hard time.

2. Don’t beat yourself up for struggling.

3. Let go of the drive for perfection.

4. Ask for support from those who care about you.

5. Make sure you enforce healthy boundaries with others.

6. Drop some commitments, and give yourself more space.

7. Take time to relax, and do the things you like.

8. Learn how to enjoy, and benefit from solitude.