Building Self-Esteem when you’re Struggling with Depression

close your eyes
Low self-esteem is a symptom of depression. It’s often very hard to feel good about ourselves.

Our self-image is distorted, extreme and negative, and we start to see ourselves through deeply scratched or foggy lenses.

The following suggestions can sometimes help when you’re struggling with this aspect of your mental health:

1. Get into the habit of challenging your thinking – especially when it falls into the same old repeated, negative patterns.

2. Keep a thankfulness journal – and deliberately look for the good things in your life.

3. Spend time with people who can see your strengths, and who make you feel good

about yourself.

4. Keep some photos or mementos that remind you of your passions – so theses can help inspire you to love your life again.

5. Leave positive notes and quotes around your room, or inside your wallet, or on your desk, or phone.

6. See failure as a stepping stone that leads to further growth – and as something that is common, and experienced by us all.

7. Deliberately nurture and care for yourself – and see this as essential, and a top priority.

 

“Start over my darling. Be brave enough to find the life you want and courageous enough to chase it. Then start over and love yourself the way you were always meant to.” – Madalyn Beck New beginnings are possible. Sometimes a new beginning takes the form of walking away and designing a completely different life. […]

via Starting Over — Don’t Lose Hope

Starting Over — Don’t Lose Hope

7 Simple Ways to Say “No”

you can be a good person with a kind heart

1. “I can’t commit to this as I have other priorities at the moment.” This lets the person know your plate is full right now.

2. “Now’s not a good time as I’m in the middle of something. How about we reconnect at X instead?” This lets the person know it’s not a good time. However, you also convey your desire to help by suggesting another time (at your convenience). This way, the person doesn’t feel blown off.

3. “I’d love to do this, but …” This is a gentle way of saying no. It’s encouraging as it lets the person know you like the idea but I can’t take part due to other reasons, such as prior commitments.

4. “Let me think about it first and I’ll get back to you.” This is more like a “Maybe” than a straight out “No”. If you are interested but you don’t want to say ‘yes’ just yet, use this.

5. “This doesn’t fit with what I’m looking for now – but I’ll keep you in mind.” Sometimes it is just best to turn the person/ offer down. Otherwise, the discussion can drag on and on.

6. “I’m not the best person to help on this. Why don’t you try X?” Again, sometimes it is best to say you’re the wrong person to help etc. If possible, refer them to a lead they can follow-up on instead.

7. “No, I can’t.” The simplest and most direct way to say no.

Source: http://zenhabits.net/say-no/ (Abridged)

How to Stay on Top of Life when you Feel Depressed

hope

Fighting depression can be really hard. Here are some things can sometimes help:

1. Acknowledge how you feel, and accept that this is going to be a more challenging day.

2. Commit to doing the absolute essentials but don’t push yourself to do everything.

3. Prioritize what’s important. For example, if you have a report that has to be submitted, then decide to work on that. However, if it is something that can wait, set it aside for now.

4. Work through your to-do list in small chunks of time – making sure you get plenty of breaks.

5. Tell someone who will understand. We need to get support when we’re feeling low.

6. Be wise in your use of social media. It may be good to deactivate your facebook account, or to switch off your phone to protect yourself from images and comments that leaves you feeling worse.

7. Make sure you leave the house and get a change of scenery.

8. Deliberately invest in some form of self-care – but make sure it is something that you know will help your mood. And remember that tomorrow is another day.

8 Things You Need to Chill Out About

success is loving life

 

Don’t sweat the small stuff! Such great advice. But what does that look like in our daily lives?  It means making the decision to be more chill about the following kinds of things:

1. The few areas that aren’t going right – When things go wrong, take a moment to be thankful for all the other things that are still going right. And if you’re struggling to be thankful for what you have, be thankful for what you have escaped. Sometimes the best gifts in life are the troubles you don’t have.

2. Trying to label everyone and everything – Sometimes you’ve just got to take people and situations for what they are, appreciate them, and not try to label them or change them.

3. Worrying about what everyone else thinks – The minute you stop overwhelming your mind with caring about what everyone else thinks, and start doing what you feel in your heart is right, is the minute you will finally feel free.

4. Wasting time on the wrong people – You cannot make someone respect you; all you can do is be someone who can be respected. No matter how much you care, some people just won’t care back. At some point you have to realize the truth – that they no longer care or never did, and that maybe you’re wasting your time and missing out on someone else who does.

5. Old wounds and grudges – You will never find peace until you learn to finally let go of the hatred and hurt that lives in your heart. In order to move on, you must know why you felt the way you did, and why you no longer need to feel that way. It’s about accepting the past, letting it be, and pushing your spirit forward with good intentions.

6. Superficial judgments – Every human being is beautiful; it just takes the right set of eyes to see it.

7. Letting small disagreements snowball out of control – Don’t let a single poisonous moment of misunderstanding make you forget the countless lovable moments you’ve spent together.

8. Showing a lack of self-respect – Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention you should be showing yourself. Choose to be your own best friend.

Give it a Try …

don't wait for everything to be perfect

Life might be better if you try the following:

1. Let go of the past

2. Do stuff (instead of just thinking or talking about it)

3. Don’t let other people bother you

4. Make the effort to stay in touch (especially with those who mean a lot to you)

5. Allow yourself to make mistakes, and fail

6. Accept that things going wrong from time to time

7. Decide not to take things personally

8. Think about how you want to be remembered

9. Give without expecting something in return

10. Choose to be silly, to have fun, and to laugh

11. Value your friends, and always treat them well

12. Recognize that everything eventually ends, and loss is an integral part of life.

Happiness Tips

then one day

1. Experiment to see what makes you happy.

2. Hang out with people who are happy and upbeat as other people affect the way we feel.

3. Make a list of your blessings – don’t focus on “what’s wrong”.

4. Cultivate an attitude of thankfulness. Add to your list several times a day.

5. Focus on solutions instead of on your problems.

6. Make time to connect with the people you love.

7. Accept the way that you and others are. Growth and change don’t happen instantly.

8. Take time to enjoy the moment. Savour what you can from the small things in life – a sunrise, a rainbow, or a giggling child.

9. Remind yourself often that “this, too, will pass”. Hard times and trials are only temporary.

10. Follow your passions – as they reflect who you are – and are a natural source of fulfillment and joy.

11. Practice random acts of kindness.

12. Smile and laugh and often as you can.

Tips for Improving your Focus

successful people aren't gifted

 

It’s very easy to lose our focus, especially when we’re bored, or we’re working on our own. The following tips can help you stay on course, and achieve the larger goals you have set for yourself:

  1. Set yourself some goals at the start of the day – and make sure they are goals that are reasonable. Then check off each item, and keep going till the end.
  2. Make sure you take plenty of regular breaks as these will increase your productivity. We can focus for around 20 minutes at a time – and then we need to get up and walk around.
  3. Break larger tasks into lots of smaller tasks. That way you will receive constant reinforcement for making some progress, and finishing some tasks.
  4. Use offline tools such as paper and pen as they make it easier to stick with the plan and to not get distracted by online stuff.
  5. Notice the times when you tend to feel tired – then plan your breaks for around those times.
  6. Give yourself some deadlines as these focus the mind, and give us something concrete to work towards.