This is what I want you to know … 1. You deserve to be loved and prized in the same way as the most loved and prized person in this world, is loved and prized. This is 100% true. 2. It is a lie that you are inferior and inadequate, or deserve to be mistreated, […]
1. Not having goals. You can’t reach your goals if you don’t know what they are.
2. Choosing goals that don’t inspire you. You won’t be able to keep on going if the prize at the end doesn’t really matter to you.
3. Expecting immediate results. Anything worthwhile is a battle and a struggle. It takes times and effort to bring about a change.
4. Lack of support. We all need someone to believe in us and to be our cheerleader when we start to feel discouraged.
5. Not believing in yourself. As Henry Ford so wisely said: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”
6. Feeling bored. Most success involves a lot of humdrum work, and repeatedly doing the same kind of stuff. But each day brings you closer to achieving what you want.
7. Inaction and laziness. You have to work the plan before the plan will work … and dreams are only dream till you turn your thoughts to actions. Also, it’s crucially important that you manage your time well, and you don’t get distracted or procrastinate.
8. Being around negative people. There are plenty of people who only see the flaws, and whose eyes are on the problems, and the absence of solutions. If you hang out with them, you will lose your zest and passion, and your positive outlook will soon be undermined.
9. Comparing yourself to others. We each are individuals, and we start from different places; we all face our challenges, and work at different rates. Remember “it’s your journey”. Be patient with yourself.
10. Encountering setbacks. No matter how great your plans, or your level of commitment, you’re bound to face some setbacks and encounter obstacles. That’s a normal part of growth – just keep going when life’s tough.
“We cannot become what we want by remaining where we are.” – Max Depree
“Your trauma made you stronger.” No. My trauma left me traumatized. My trauma left me bludgeoned and bleeding. It left me totally destroyed from endless triggers and constant broken sleep. It left empty, and scared, and unable to trust … My partner. The world. Afraid to trust myself. It left me floundering and dealing with […]
Impostor syndrome is a psychological condition where people are unable to believe in their successes. Thus, despite the evidence that points to the fact that they are skilled, capable and competent they write this off as temporary – or timing and good luck. Thus, they constantly struggle with feeling like a fraud.
So what are some ways that you can counteract this syndrome?
1. Admit this is something that you suffer from. When we know we’re not alone, and our symptoms have a name it can help disperse the feelings of anxiety and shame.
2. Distinguish between facts and feelings. Everyone feels stupid and inept at times. That doesn’t mean we’re stupid. Our feelings aren’t facts.
3. Don’t demand perfection. It is good to set goals and have high standards for yourself. However, it’s unhealthy to obsess over every little thing. You’ll simply waste a lot of time and never feel quite satisfied.
4. Take a look at the rules you have imposed upon yourself. Are you saying to yourself: “I have to always get it right”; or ”I should never ask for help”; or “It is bad to make mistakes”? These are misguided rules that undermine your self-esteem. They set you up for failure as they close the door to help.
5. Change the tapes in your head. Instead of constantly repeating faulty self-destructive thoughts (such as “Wait till they discover just how useless I am”) replace it with a thought that builds esteem and confidence.
6. Don’t look to others to affirm your success. Don’t look to other people to rate and judge your work. Set your own personal goals, and note the progress you have made.
7. Fake it till you make it. Almost every individual who succeeds in life has a time when they’re acting, as they don’t feel confident. It means that they’re still learning, and are not afraid to try.
1. Treat everyone equally – as if each person is important to you. If you are part of a group of friends, no individual should feel less liked, valued or wanted than anyone else. Show respect for each person’s opinions and ideas. Don’t think of anyone as unpopular.
2. Be interested in others, and what matters to them (even if their interests seem boring to you). Being listened to affirms that you’re a valuable person; and often we’re just looking for a listening ear.
3. Be friendly, warm, outgoing and talk to everyone. It’s easy to ignore or overlook those who are shy, or those who feel awkward and don’t know what to say.
4. Be kind to everyone. At times this can be hard as people can be difficult or unkind to you. But it says more about them than it does about you.
5. Use people’s names when you’re talking to them. It conveys that they are ‘someone’, and builds a stronger bond.
6. Compliment people. Try to notice something good in everyone you meet. But make sure you’re sincere when you give a compliment.
7. Share the joke with everyone. Don’t make inside jokes. It’s exclusive and unkind. Everyone should feel they are part of the group.
8. Do your best to have fun, and have a laugh with everyone. That helps to reduce tension and to break the barriers down.
“I did not ask for the things I’ve been through, and I certainly didn’t ask my mind to paint and repaint the memories in the form of flashbacks.” The majority of people who are living with trauma wish they could simply forget the past. But the fact is we can’t just wipe the slate clean, […]