Dealing with our Worries, Anxieties, and Fears — Don’t Lose Hope

“What worries you controls you.” – Unknown Some of those worries are legitimate fears, and it’s important to take them seriously. Other worries are more vague, or they’re less likely to occur. And yet we ruminate, and turn them over in our minds. So what can you do when worries grip and torture us? 1. […]

Dealing with our Worries, Anxieties, and Fears — Don’t Lose Hope

8 Things You Need to Chill Out About

1. The few things that aren’t going right. – When things go wrong, take a moment to be thankful for all the other things that are still going right. And if you’re struggling to be thankful for what you have, be thankful for what you have escaped. Sometimes the best gifts in life are the troubles you don’t have.

2. Trying to label everyone and everything. – Sometimes you’ve just got to take people and situations for what they are, appreciate them, and not try to label them or change them.

3. Worrying about what everyone else thinks. – The minute you stop overwhelming your mind with caring about what everyone else thinks, and start doing what you feel in your heart is right, is the minute you will finally feel freedom.

4. Wasting time on the wrong people. – You cannot make someone respect you; all you can do is be someone who can be respected. No matter how much you care some people just won’t care back. At some point you have to realize the truth – that they no longer care or never did, and that maybe you’re wasting your time and missing out on someone else who does.

5. Old wounds and grudges. – You will never find peace until you learn to finally let go of the hatred and hurt that lives in your heart. In order to move on, you must know why you felt the way you did, and why you no longer need to feel that way. It’s about accepting the past, letting it be, and pushing your spirit forward with good intentions.

6. Superficial judgments. –Every human being is beautiful; it just takes the right set of eyes to see it.

7. Letting small disagreements snowball out of control. – Don’t let a single poisonous moment of misunderstanding make you forget about the countless lovable moments you’ve spent together.

8. Showing a lack of self-respect. – Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention that you should be showing yourself. Choose to be your own best friend.

Source: http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/12/14/9-things-you-need-to-chill-out-about/ (Abridged)

Practical Tips for Coping with Anxiety

According to Dr T.A. Richards, we can stop thoughts that lead to anxiety by consciously replacing them by more rational thoughts like the following:

When anxiety is near:

1. I’m going to be all right. My feelings are not always rational. I’m just going to relax, calm down, and everything will be all right.

2. Anxiety is not dangerous — it’s just uncomfortable. I am fine; I’ll just continue with what I’m doing or find something more active to do.

3. Right now I have some feelings I don’t like. They are really just phantoms, however, because they are disappearing. I will be fine.

4. Right now I have feelings I don’t like. They will be over with soon and I’ll be fine. For now, I am going to focus on doing something else around me.

5. That picture (image) in my head is not a healthy or rational picture. Instead, I’m going to focus on something healthy like _________________________.

6. I’ve stopped my negative thoughts before and I’m going to do it again now. I am becoming better and better at deflecting these automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) and that makes me happy.

7. So I feel a little anxiety now, SO WHAT? It’s not like it’s the first time. I am going to take some nice deep breaths and keep on going. This will help me continue to get better.”

When preparing for a stressful situation

1. I’ve done this before so I know I can do it again.

2. When this is over, I’ll be glad that I did it.

3. The feeling I have about this trip doesn’t make much sense. This anxiety is like a mirage in the desert. I’ll just continue to walk forward until I pass right through it.

4. This may seem hard now, but it will become easier and easier over time.

5. I think I have more control over these thoughts and feelings than I once imagined. I am very gently going to turn away from my old feelings and move in a new, better direction.

When feeling overwhelmed

1. I can be anxious and still focus on the task at hand. As I focus on the task, my anxiety will go down.

2. Anxiety is a old habit pattern that my body responds to. I am going to calmly and nicely change this old habit. I feel a little bit of peace, despite my anxiety, and this peace is going to grow and grow. As my peace and security grow, then anxiety and panic will have to shrink.

3. At first, my anxiety was powerful and scary, but as time goes by it doesn’t have the hold on me that I once thought it had. I am moving forward gently and nicely all the time.

4. I don’t need to fight my feelings. I realize that these feelings won’t be allowed to stay around very much longer. I just accept my new feelings of peace, contentment, security, and confidence.

5. All these things that are happening to me seem overwhelming. But I’ve caught myself this time and I refuse to focus on these things. Instead, I’m going to talk slowly to myself, focus away from my problem, and continue with what I have to do. In this way, my anxiety will have to shrink away and disappear.

Source: http://www.anxietynetwork.com/helpcope.html

Do You Suffer From GAD? — Don’t Lose Hope

One of the fall-outs from experiencing trauma is living with generalized anxiety disorder. It is a of a sense of dread that colours everything in life, so the person can’t relax and focus on what’s happening now. Note: The difference between ‘normal’ worrying and generalized anxiety disorder is the worrying associated with GAD is excessive, […]

Do You Suffer From GAD? — Don’t Lose Hope

Keeping it Manageable — Don’t Lose Hope

“You only need to focus on one little step forward. You don’t need to conquer the entire mountain right now. You don’t need to have everything figured out today. The only possible way to climb a mountain is by climbing it one step at a time. Don’t think about the peak. Don’t worry about what […]

via Keeping it Manageable — Don’t Lose Hope

7 Tips for Dealing with Over-Thinking

All of us fall prey to over-thinking at times.

And over-thinking leads to feeling anxious, scared and stressed.

So what can we do to take control of all these thoughts so we regain our peace and can cope with daily life?

Suggestions include:

1. Write it down, and try to summarise your thoughts and feelings in a short paragraph.

2. Set aside a specific time, and a specific amount of time, to think about the issue.

3. When you find yourself overthinking again, interrupt your thinking by distracting yourself.

4. Remind yourself that many problems solve themselves, and disappear, with time.

5. Change your environment.

6. Engage your brain in a demanding task.

7. Exercise or do something physical.

8 Things You Need to Chill Out About

 

Don’t sweat the small stuff! Such great advice. But what does that look like in our daily lives?  It means making the decision to be more chill about the following kinds of things:

1. The few areas that aren’t going right – When things go wrong, take a moment to be thankful for all the other things that are still going right. And if you’re struggling to be thankful for what you have, be thankful for what you have escaped. Sometimes the best gifts in life are the troubles you don’t have.

2. Trying to label everyone and everything – Sometimes you’ve just got to take people and situations for what they are, appreciate them, and not try to label them or change them.

3. Worrying about what everyone else thinks – The minute you stop overwhelming your mind with caring about what everyone else thinks, and start doing what you feel in your heart is right, is the minute you will finally feel free.

4. Wasting time on the wrong people – You cannot make someone respect you; all you can do is be someone who can be respected. No matter how much you care, some people just won’t care back. At some point you have to realize the truth – that they no longer care or never did, and that maybe you’re wasting your time and missing out on someone else who does.

5. Old wounds and grudges – You will never find peace until you learn to finally let go of the hatred and hurt that lives in your heart. In order to move on, you must know why you felt the way you did, and why you no longer need to feel that way. It’s about accepting the past, letting it be, and pushing your spirit forward with good intentions.

6. Superficial judgments – Every human being is beautiful; it just takes the right set of eyes to see it.

7. Letting small disagreements snowball out of control – Don’t let a single poisonous moment of misunderstanding make you forget the countless lovable moments you’ve spent together.

8. Showing a lack of self-respect – Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention you should be showing yourself. Choose to be your own best friend.

Source: http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/12/14/9-things-you-need-to-chill-out-about/ (Abridged)

Stress-Relief Strategies

There’s no one-size-fits-us-all when it comes to stress relief. Below are some suggestions of strategies to try.

Short-Term Strategies

1. Guided Imagery – This can feel like a mini vacation. It involves imaging yourself somewhere peaceful and relaxing – in a forest, on a beach, by a waterfall, and so on. It can take the form of listening to a recording where someone else walks you through the relaxing scene. Alternatively, it is something you can practice and do by yourself.
2. Meditation – This encourages us to bring our focus into the here-and-now. The goal is to stop you ruminating over either past or future events, or difficult and painful relationships. You are paying attention to what you can see, hear, taste, touch, and smell in the present moment.
3. Progressive Muscle Relaxation – This strategy teaches you how to tighten and relax all the different muscles groups in your body. You start at your head, and move down to your toes.
4. Breathing Techniques – These can calm your body and your mind in minutes. Usually you breathe in very slowly through your mouth, counting slowly as you inhale. You then hold your breath for a few seconds, and exhale slowly through your mouth.
5. Going for a stroll – Exercise releases the feel-good hormones (endorphins). Also, a change of scenery can dissipate the stress and tension. It can change and renew our state of mind.
6. Asking for a hug – Touch releases oxytocin (the “cuddle hormone”). This helps us to relax, and reduces our blood pressure.
7. Aromatherapy – Recent research seems to show that certain scents can have a marked positive effect on our mood and stress levels. They alter brain wave activity, and help decrease the release of stress hormones in the body. This can be achieved through the use of scented candles, sceneted diffusers, scented oils or even certain body products,
8. Getting in Touch with your Creative Side – There are good reasons why coloring has become so popular: creativity and art are known to be great stress relievers. Also, they’ve been shown to have a meditative effect.

Long-Term Strategies

Stress is part of life; hence it’s crucial we create a lifestyle that enables us to deal with challenges. There are habits that can make us more resilient to stress, and increase our sense of wellness, and the feeling we can cope. They include:

1. Eating a Balanced Diet – Emotional eating tends to be unhealthy eating. Yet we generally feel better if we eat food that is wholesome. Try to avoid refined carbs that cause blood sugar crashes, and leave you feeling tired, agitated and more anxious. In contrast, a balanced diet provides energy and regulates your mood.
2. Participating in Regular Exercise – Physical exercise is one the best stress relievers, and one of the best ways of maintaining physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. The options here are almost unlimited – from walking, running, cycling, swimming, rowing, dancing, participating in team sports – to exercising and training at the gym. Find out what you enjoy, and try to fit it in your schedule.
3. Make Time for Leisure Activities – Don’t fall into the trap of believing you’re too busy. The pay off for investing in self-care is really worth it! You’ll perform your tasks much better, and your mood will improve.
4. Get into the Habit of Using Positive Self–Talk – How you talk to yourself, and especially when you’re stressed, can make a massive difference to how you cope with problems. If you criticize yourself, lack compassion, are unkind, or sound like a slave driver with impossible high standards then you’ll just end up depressed, and you’ll have no energy.
5. Expressing Gratitude – Research indicates being grateful can change the way we feel. It helps reduce stress levels, and it gives a sense of hope. Expressing gratitude can take the form of writing in a journal, or it can be a daily mental exercise. What matters is the conscious effort we make to notice the good in our lives, and in the world.
6. Reviewing your To-Do List – Sometimes our expectations for what we can achieve are unrealistic, and are, therefore, doomed to fail. Remember you are human, and you have your limitations. It’s OK to say “no” and to leave margin in life.
7. Get Support from Others – We’re made for community; we can’t do life alone. Hence, there’s no shame in admitting you need to get support. So ask for help you need – or even join an online group.