“What worries you controls you.” – Unknown Some of those worries are legitimate fears, and it’s important to take them seriously. Other worries are more vague, or they’re less likely to occur. And yet we ruminate, and turn them over in our minds. So what can you do when worries grip and torture us? 1. […]
“Still, I rise.” – Maya Angelou All of us deal with tough experiences in life. Times when we feel lost and completely overwhelmed. Times when we “just feel”, and we don’t know where to turn. Below are some suggestions to help cope with these. 1. Write about it: Have you ever typed out an angry […]
1. The few things that aren’t going right. – When things go wrong, take a moment to be thankful for all the other things that are still going right. And if you’re struggling to be thankful for what you have, be thankful for what you have escaped. Sometimes the best gifts in life are the troubles you don’t have.
2. Trying to label everyone and everything. – Sometimes you’ve just got to take people and situations for what they are, appreciate them, and not try to label them or change them.
3. Worrying about what everyone else thinks. – The minute you stop overwhelming your mind with caring about what everyone else thinks, and start doing what you feel in your heart is right, is the minute you will finally feel freedom.
4. Wasting time on the wrong people. – You cannot make someone respect you; all you can do is be someone who can be respected. No matter how much you care some people just won’t care back. At some point you have to realize the truth – that they no longer care or never did, and that maybe you’re wasting your time and missing out on someone else who does.
5. Old wounds and grudges. – You will never find peace until you learn to finally let go of the hatred and hurt that lives in your heart. In order to move on, you must know why you felt the way you did, and why you no longer need to feel that way. It’s about accepting the past, letting it be, and pushing your spirit forward with good intentions.
6. Superficial judgments. –Every human being is beautiful; it just takes the right set of eyes to see it.
7. Letting small disagreements snowball out of control. – Don’t let a single poisonous moment of misunderstanding make you forget about the countless lovable moments you’ve spent together.
8. Showing a lack of self-respect. – Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention that you should be showing yourself. Choose to be your own best friend.
Signs that life is demanding your attention include: 1. The same themes and patterns (which are usually self-defeating) keep repeating themselves, or reappearing in your life. Notice these patterns, and then ask yourself: “What is this telling me about myself – my wants, my needs, my hurts, and my past?” 2. Hurt, unresolved issues, and […]
According to Dr T.A. Richards, we can stop thoughts that lead to anxiety by consciously replacing them by more rational thoughts like the following:
When anxiety is near:
1. I’m going to be all right. My feelings are not always rational. I’m just going to relax, calm down, and everything will be all right.
2. Anxiety is not dangerous — it’s just uncomfortable. I am fine; I’ll just continue with what I’m doing or find something more active to do.
3. Right now I have some feelings I don’t like. They are really just phantoms, however, because they are disappearing. I will be fine.
4. Right now I have feelings I don’t like. They will be over with soon and I’ll be fine. For now, I am going to focus on doing something else around me.
5. That picture (image) in my head is not a healthy or rational picture. Instead, I’m going to focus on something healthy like _________________________.
6. I’ve stopped my negative thoughts before and I’m going to do it again now. I am becoming better and better at deflecting these automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) and that makes me happy.
7. So I feel a little anxiety now, SO WHAT? It’s not like it’s the first time. I am going to take some nice deep breaths and keep on going. This will help me continue to get better.”
When preparing for a stressful situation
1. I’ve done this before so I know I can do it again.
2. When this is over, I’ll be glad that I did it.
3. The feeling I have about this trip doesn’t make much sense. This anxiety is like a mirage in the desert. I’ll just continue to walk forward until I pass right through it.
4. This may seem hard now, but it will become easier and easier over time.
5. I think I have more control over these thoughts and feelings than I once imagined. I am very gently going to turn away from my old feelings and move in a new, better direction.
When feeling overwhelmed
1. I can be anxious and still focus on the task at hand. As I focus on the task, my anxiety will go down.
2. Anxiety is a old habit pattern that my body responds to. I am going to calmly and nicely change this old habit. I feel a little bit of peace, despite my anxiety, and this peace is going to grow and grow. As my peace and security grow, then anxiety and panic will have to shrink.
3. At first, my anxiety was powerful and scary, but as time goes by it doesn’t have the hold on me that I once thought it had. I am moving forward gently and nicely all the time.
4. I don’t need to fight my feelings. I realize that these feelings won’t be allowed to stay around very much longer. I just accept my new feelings of peace, contentment, security, and confidence.
5. All these things that are happening to me seem overwhelming. But I’ve caught myself this time and I refuse to focus on these things. Instead, I’m going to talk slowly to myself, focus away from my problem, and continue with what I have to do. In this way, my anxiety will have to shrink away and disappear.
One of the fall-outs from experiencing trauma is living with generalized anxiety disorder. It is a of a sense of dread that colours everything in life, so the person can’t relax and focus on what’s happening now. Note: The difference between ‘normal’ worrying and generalized anxiety disorder is the worrying associated with GAD is excessive, […]
“You only need to focus on one little step forward. You don’t need to conquer the entire mountain right now. You don’t need to have everything figured out today. The only possible way to climb a mountain is by climbing it one step at a time. Don’t think about the peak. Don’t worry about what […]