We put such pressure on ourselves to be perfect all the time. Yet we know that this is stupid and impractical.
Then we short-circuit our dreams and assume we’re going to fail – even though mistakes are normal, and success takes time and work.
But how to break this pattern? It’s a part of who we are. It seems to happen without effort, and is not intentional.
The first thing we can do is pay attention to our speech, and to change the way we talk to ourselves in our mind.
So try to notice when you start to uses the phrases listed here, and then replace them with a statement that is more appropriate.
That is, a statement that is balanced, and more reasonable.
Sometimes we’re our own worst enemy, and we’re far too quick to criticize ourselves. We are harsh and demanding, and we put ourselves down, instead of being caring and compassionate.
So perhaps it is time to challenge this self-talk, and to treat ourselves fairly, and to build ourselves up.
Things to stop saying to yourself include:
- “I’m no good at …”
Say instead “It’s just a skill, and something I can learn.”
- “I’m such a failure …”
Say instead “I got it wrong, and everybody makes mistakes.”
- “There’s no point in trying …”
Say instead “It may be hard, but step by step will get me there.”
- “Everybody hates me; I’ve got no friends …”
Say instead “It doesn’t really matter what these people think of me. There are others who will recognize my value and worth.”
- “I hate myself. I deserve to be rejected …”
Say instead “I am beautiful inside, and have value and worth. I deserve to be cherished and be treated well.”