1. Delete “ought”, “must” and “should” from your vocabulary.
2. Get rid of all unrealistic goals, and replace them with realistic, achievable goals.
3. Accept and love yourself unconditionally.
4. Recognize that NOBODY is perfect – despite what the media, or other people, say.
5. Love your quirks and value your uniqueness.
6. See mistakes as lessons on the road to success.
7. Notice all the positives, and small accomplishments.
8. Enjoy, and be thankful for, the good things in your life.
The successful person:
1. Makes time for themselves
2. Takes on new challenges
3. Can take a break from their work
4. Sets realistic goals
5. Perseveres when things are hard
6. Enforces healthy boundaries
7. Doesn’t beat themselves up
8. Doesn’t get bogged down with guilt
9. Thinks of others and their needs
10. Lives a life of gratitude.
1. Set yourself some daily goals. Keep them realistic and achievable. That will give direction – so you don’t fritter your time. 2. Read inspirational books and blogs; hang around people who are positive. 3. Stay in touch with what’s happening in the world. We’re not just islands – we are part of one another. […]
Good Habits to Develop — Don’t Lose Hope
1. Don’t look to the world to give you an identity.
2. Don’t look to your family and friends for approval.
3. Set your own goals and believe in yourself.
4. Expect things to take time.
5. Expect to meet with setbacks.
6. Expect people to put you down, and for some to walk away.
7. Don’t be swayed by pressure from others.
8. Don’t resent others gifts and successes.
9. Accept that somethings cannot be controlled.
10. Believe that you will make it one day.
“Do it for you!“
Things that destroy your motivation include:
1. Not having goals. You can’t reach your goals if you don’t know what they are.
2. Choosing goals that don’t inspire you. You won’t be able to keep on going if the prize at the end doesn’t really matter to you.
3. Expecting immediate results. Anything worthwhile is a battle and a struggle. It takes times and effort to bring about a change.
4. Lack of support. We all need someone to believe in us and to be our cheerleader when we start to feel discouraged.
5. Not believing in yourself. As Henry Ford so wisely said: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”
6. Feeling bored. Most success involves a lot of humdrum work, and repeatedly doing the same kind of stuff. But each day brings you closer to achieving what you want.
7. Inaction and laziness. You have to work the plan before the plan will work … and dreams are only dream till you turn your thoughts to actions. Also, it’s crucially important that you manage your time well, and you don’t get distracted or procrastinate.
8. Being around negative people. There are plenty of people who only see the flaws, and whose eyes are on the problems, and the absence of solutions. If you hang out with them, you will lose your zest and passion, and your positive outlook will soon be undermined.
9. Comparing yourself to others. We each are individuals, and we start from different places; we all face our challenges, and work at different rates. Remember “it’s your journey”. Be patient with yourself.
10. Encountering setbacks. No matter how great your plans, or your level of commitment, you’re bound to face some setbacks and encounter obstacles. That’s a normal part of growth – just keep going when life’s tough.
“We cannot become what we want by remaining where we are.” – Max Depree
The following can help your to become a better problem solver:
1. Set aside time to think. Google gives its engineer a thinking day each week. This has been shown to increases their creativity – and also their productivity.
2. Play games. Research indicates that playing competitive games encourages us to come up with creative strategies and solutions. This can be applied to all areas of life.
3. Learn from your mistakes. Sometimes inspiration and genius comes from connecting the dots between your mistakes.
4. Ditch the rules. Often thinking outside the box – and abandoning the normal practices and rules – will free your mind to think of a completely new solution.
5. Give yourself permission to fail. If you’re too scared of failing then you’ll never take a risk. Also, we need to go down some blind alleys on our journey to success.
6. Break with the routine. Change the order that you do things, your environment, or room. That breaks the “same old” thinking patterns, and gives rise to new ideas.
7. Talk to others. We can learn a lot from others as we’re all individuals – with different outlooks, thoughts, perspectives, dreams and life experiences.
Impostor syndrome is a psychological condition where people are unable to believe in their successes. Thus, despite the evidence that points to the fact that they are skilled, capable and competent they write this off as temporary – or timing and good luck. Thus, they constantly struggle with feeling like a fraud.
So what are some ways that you can counteract this syndrome?
1. Admit this is something that you suffer from. When we know we’re not alone, and our symptoms have a name it can help disperse the feelings of anxiety and shame.
2. Distinguish between facts and feelings. Everyone feels stupid and inept at times. That doesn’t mean we’re stupid. Our feelings aren’t facts.
3. Don’t demand perfection. It is good to set goals and have high standards for yourself. However, it’s unhealthy to obsess over every little thing. You’ll simply waste a lot of time and never feel quite satisfied.
4. Take a look at the rules you have imposed upon yourself. Are you saying to yourself: “I have to always get it right”; or ”I should never ask for help”; or “It is bad to make mistakes”? These are misguided rules that undermine your self-esteem. They set you up for failure as they close the door to help.
5. Change the tapes in your head. Instead of constantly repeating faulty self-destructive thoughts (such as “Wait till they discover just how useless I am”) replace it with a thought that builds esteem and confidence.
6. Don’t look to others to affirm your success. Don’t look to other people to rate and judge your work. Set your own personal goals, and note the progress you have made.
7. Fake it till you make it. Almost every individual who succeeds in life has a time when they’re acting, as they don’t feel confident. It means that they’re still learning, and are not afraid to try.
1. Treat everyone equally – as if each person is important to you. If you are part of a group of friends, no individual should feel less liked, valued or wanted than anyone else. Show respect for each person’s opinions and ideas. Don’t think of anyone as unpopular.
2. Be interested in others, and what matters to them (even if their interests seem boring to you). Being listened to affirms that you’re a valuable person; and often we’re just looking for a listening ear.
3. Be friendly, warm, outgoing and talk to everyone. It’s easy to ignore or overlook those who are shy, or those who feel awkward and don’t know what to say.
4. Be kind to everyone. At times this can be hard as people can be difficult or unkind to you. But it says more about them than it does about you.
5. Use people’s names when you’re talking to them. It conveys that they are ‘someone’, and builds a stronger bond.
6. Compliment people. Try to notice something good in everyone you meet. But make sure you’re sincere when you give a compliment.
7. Share the joke with everyone. Don’t make inside jokes. It’s exclusive and unkind. Everyone should feel they are part of the group.
8. Do your best to have fun, and have a laugh with everyone. That helps to reduce tension and to break the barriers down.
1. Focus on your positive qualities. It’s true that we can all improve in some ways – but start by finding your good qualities – and recognise that these are a major part of who you are.
2. Be aware of, and fight against, your negative self-talk. Negative self talk can quickly snowball and become an angry tirade against yourself – so you become your own worst critic and your own worst enemy. Instead, choose to respect yourself, to love, affirm and believe in yourself.
3. Don’t dwell on things you know you cannot change. We all have imperfections, weaknesses and flaws. They’re really not that crucial, and they’re not that big a deal. Try to keep them in perspective – and change what you CAN change.
4. Make your own decisions – don’t always look to others, and think that they know better … But choose to trust yourself.
5. Always try to do your best – as that’s all that is required. You’re a normal human being who’ll sometimes get it wrong. Get up, forgive youself, then just choose to move on.
1. Sort out your priorities. Make time to honestly reflect on your life, and to think about what is important to you. Where are you going? What do you want? What are the steps that will take you there?
2. Focus on the essential tasks. Next, think about your short term responsibilities. Ask yourself: “Out of all the tasks that I have to do, which will get me the greatest return for my time and effort?” Make a list of these types of tasks — they’re your most important things to do this week.
3. Eliminate what you can. Now look at your list. What on the list is not essential? Is there anything there that you can drop from your schedule, delegate to someone else, or put on a “waiting list”. Often when we review these non-essentials later, we find they weren’t necessary at all.
4. Do essential tasks first. Begin each day by doing the two most important tasks. Don’t wait until later in the day as they’ll get pushed aside to make time for other stuff that arises throughout the day. You’ll find that if you do these tasks right away, your productivity will really increase.
5. Eliminate distractions. If you allow yourself to be constantly interrupted by email notifications, IM, cell phones, social media and so on, then you’ll never be productive. Turn them and, if you can, disconnect yourself from the internet.
6. Keep it simple. Don’t waste time on applications that are meant to organise your schedule. Make a simple to-do list with a word document, or with some paper and a pen. Then get started on whatever work you had planned on doing.
7. Do one thing at a time. In most situations, multi-tasking slows you down. You can’t get things done with a million things demanding your attention. Focus on what’s in front of you, to the exclusion of all else. That way, you are likely to achieve more, in less time, and with less effort.
Coaching Skills International 