How to Boost your Emotional Wellness — Don’t Lose Hope

If you want to boost your emotional health then build the following into your life: 1. Develop a good group of friends. If possible, try to have a wide group of friends. Then, if someone moves away, or you change your work or hobbies, you’ll still have a healthy support system in place. 2. Learn […]

How to Boost your Emotional Wellness — Don’t Lose Hope

Qualities of a Great Personality

If you want to be someone who others think well of:

1. Exhibit integrity – A person is said to have integrity if what they say and what they do are rooted in the same set of core values.

2. Don’t speak badly of others – If you speak badly about others to a friend, the chances are you’ll also speak badly about them. Hence, they are likely to be hesitant in what they share with you.

3. Be an optimist – This doesn’t mean burying your head in the sand. It means choosing not to dwell on the negatives, and actively looking for the positives.

4. Make the effort to be helpful – Life is so much better if you’re thoughtful and kind – and we rarely forget someone who’s caring and warm.

5. Set some goals and have some ambition – This is an extremely contagious quality. Not only will you achieve higher goals for yourself, you’ll give hope to others, and inspire them to try.

6. Seek to be compassionate and understanding – All of us face battles and experience hard times. Empathising with others when life is tough helps to ease their burden and renew their inner spark.

7. Believe in, love, and respect yourself – If you don’t accept, respect and love yourself, then you’ll send out vibes that you’re inadequate. However, it you love, believe in, and treat yourself well then it’s likely that others will treat you that way, too.

8. Persist until you succeed – Although ambition is important, it is not enough. You have to persevere if you’re going to succeed. So when you stumble get up and start again. Then keep on going till you finally succeed. 9

9. Be open minded and willing to learn – If you’re closed in your thinking and set in your ways then you’ll never discover a different, better way .. and you’ll close yourself off to other possibilities.

10. Take responsibility for your life – Blaming others for your problems, or acting like a victim won’t help you to move forwards, and have the life you want. Take control; stay flexible. Success is up to you.

7 Questions to Help you Find your Passion

It can be hard to figure out what to with our lives. It can be hard to figure out our dreams and passions. The questions below can help you with this:

1. What did you really love doing as a child? What did you seem to have a natural talent for?

2. What are you willing to do for free because it brings you satisfaction and fulfillment?

3. What sorts of things absorb your attention, and cause you to lose all sense of time?

4. Do you prefer to work with others, or by yourself?

5. Do you prefer order and structure, or do you prefer freedom, and the chance to be spontaneous?

6. What would you do, and where would you work, if someone told you they would finance your dream? Would you build a business? Travel? Spend it on yourself? Invest it in doing something meaningful for others?

7. If you were asked to picture the ideal life, what would it look like? What would be all the different aspects and components?

When working on your goals …

When working on your goals …

1. Stop fantasizing: Those with too rosy a picture of the future tend to put less effort into reaching their goals. Instead, it’s better to be open to some things going wrong. It will help you see the obstacles – and think through beating them.

2. Visualise process NOT outcome: If you can think through all the steps you will forge a better plan … and it will also help to reduce anxiety.

3. Beware of the “what-the-hell effect”: Too many just give up when they stumble or fall down. It’s better to get up – and to see it as a journey.

4. Attack procrastination: It’s easy to procrastinate when things start getting tough. Make a start, keep your head down, and set yourself deadlines. Once you start you’ll feel much better, and the road won’t seem so hard.

5. Switch out of robot mode: A lot of behaviour is robotic and habitual. We copy other people, or we do the same old things. Take stock, and change those patterns, if they don’t lead to your goals.

6. Know when enough is enough: Sometimes we need to know when there’s no point in going on. We’re flogging a dead horse; things are never going to change. Perhaps it’s time to stop, and to work on something else.

Do you Suffer from Imposter Syndrome?

Impostor syndrome is a psychological condition where people are unable to believe in their successes. Thus, despite the evidence that points to the fact that they are skilled, capable and competent they write this off as temporary – or timing and good luck. Thus, they constantly struggle with feeling like a fraud.

So what are some ways that you can counteract this syndrome?

1. Admit this is something that you suffer from. When we know we’re not alone, and our symptoms have a name it can help disperse the feelings of anxiety and shame.

2. Distinguish between facts and feelings. Everyone feels stupid and inept at times. That doesn’t mean we’re stupid. Our feelings aren’t facts.

3. Don’t demand perfection. It is good to set goals and have high standards for yourself. However, it’s unhealthy to obsess over every little thing. You’ll simply waste a lot of time and never feel quite satisfied.

4. Take a look at the rules you have imposed upon yourself. Are you saying to yourself: “I have to always get it right”; or ”I should never ask for help”; or “It is bad to make mistakes”? These are misguided rules that undermine your self-esteem. They set you up for failure as they close the door to help.

5. Change the tapes in your head. Instead of constantly repeating faulty self-destructive thoughts (such as “Wait till they discover just how useless I am”) replace it with a thought that builds esteem and confidence.

6. Don’t look to others to affirm your success. Don’t look to other people to rate and judge your work. Set your own personal goals, and note the progress you have made.

7. Fake it till you make it. Almost every individual who succeeds in life has a time when they’re acting, as they don’t feel confident. It means that they’re still learning, and are not afraid to try.

7 Ways to Really Love the People in your Life

If you really want to love the people in your life ….

1. Tell them how great they are and how much you appreciate them.

2. Be genuine and real in your relationships. Don’t pretend and wear a mask but share your true, authentic self.

3. Note, however, that being genuine doesn’t mean always dumping your garbage on those around you. Be respectful of their needs and feelings too – and recognise that we influence and affect others’ moods. That is, we can choose to either brighten or pollute the atmosphere.

4. Be a great listener. We feel loved and valued when others really listen to us (and demonstrate they’re listening through their nonverbal cues).

5. Don’t try to fix, change and make them into different people. Instead, allow them the freedom to be themselves, as well.

6. Recognise that we don’t have to agree with, or respect, others’ choices in order to have a good relationship with them. A lot of the time, we can simply agree to disagree.

7. Don’t allow yourself to fall into the role of victim or martyr … or a co-dependent lover, family member or spouse.

5 Things that Keep us Stuck in Life

1. Believing negative, unproductive and self-defeating thoughts. These include thoughts like “I could never … I’m not good enough to … I don’t deserve to … I’m useless at …”

2. Blaming others. It’s true that other people can have a huge affect on what happens to us, and where we are in life. But we give them too much power if we let them set our course, and see ourselves as victims, and let ourselves feel helpless.

3. Taking ourselves too seriously. It’s important to work hard and to have integrity. But we also have to laugh and enjoy ourselves as well. Also, decide to let things go, and put up with some mistakes. You’re not a perfect person and, the truth is – that’s OK!

4. Being afraid to take some risks or to live close to the edge. To have an interesting life you must leave your comfort zone and say “yes” to some new chances and opportunities. It will broaden your perspective, reduce anxiety, and provide you with new options and possibilities.

5. Being afraid of change. It doesn’t take much effort to stick with what you know. The unknown can seem daunting as we don’t know where that leads! But we grow as individuals and lead a richer life if we learn to accept changes, instead of being scared.

How to Build Emotional Resilience

Steps to building emotional resilience include:

1. Talk to someone: Sharing how we feel helps to reduce the inner tension (but make sure it is someone who cares about your feelings).

2. Work on improving your self-esteem: Self-esteem is the way you see and feel about yourself … and there are lots of lots of things that undermine our self esteem. For example, experiencing a break up, putting on unwanted weight, doing badly on a test or being excluded by our friends. It’s important that we keep on working on our self-esteem by treating ourselves well and noticing when we succeed (instead of noticing the negatives).

3. Manage your stress levels: If we’re always feelings stressed then it’s hard to cope with life. We tend to over react and have a negative mind set … which drains us of our energy and saps our will to fight. So take a look at your lifestyle and see what you can drop. You may be doing too much, and don’t have time to relax.

4. Make the time and effort to enjoy yourself: Doing things that we enjoy helps to improve the way we feel. So build in little things like having coffee with a friend, or going to a game, or taking time to watch some sports.

5. Choose a healthy life style: Pay attention to your diet and how much you exercise; try to limit alcohol, and don’t deprive yourself of sleep.

6. Develop good relationships: Do your friends make you happy? Do you enjoy their company? Are they kind of people with your best interests at heart? Do they treat you with respect and help to boost your self-esteem? If not, then work on finding new relationships!

7 Helpful Life Questions

1. If you had all the money you need, how would you choose to spend your life?

2. What makes, and when do, you lose yourself … and then realise that you’d lost track of time?

3. What lifts your spirits on a dreary, grey day?

4. When you are old, and look back on your life, what sorts of things will matter the most?

5. What are three things that you hope to achieve?

6. What kind of person do you want to be?

7. Who’s your role model for a full, well-lived life?