This is what I want you to know … 1. You deserve to be loved and prized in the same way as the most loved and prized person in this world, is loved and prized. This is 100% true. 2. It is a lie that you are inferior and inadequate, or deserve to be mistreated, […]
This is What I Want you to Know … — Don’t Lose Hope
“If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?“ – Maya Angelou This is a good, and a thought-provoking, question! I wonder how good we really are to ourselves. Here are some journal prompts to help you think this through … 1. Without thinking too deeply […]
Who do I Think I Am? — Don’t Lose Hope
1. Recognise that other people do not determine your worth and value. It’s your life not there’s. They are responsible to themselves for their life; and you are responsible to yourself for your life. Don’t give up your “self” to please someone else.
2. Also, people change, have different values and outlooks and want different things for, and from, us. It’s simply impossible to please everyone all of the time, or even most of the time.
3. Recognise that spending our lives trying to make others happiness is a recipe for failure and low self-esteem. It’s a pointless way to spend your life. It will stop you being happy and true to yourself.
4. Be kind to yourself. Understand that we all have weaknesses, and things that we regret saying and doing.
5. Also, we’re all on our journey – and the journey is harder and more challenging for some than others. Perhaps you are dealing with obstacles that other people have not had to face.
6. Develop your self esteem from within. Decide on the type of person YOU want to be, and work on being true to that.
7. Think about what really matters to you, and the different goals you’d like to achieve – then set these as a priority. That is, decide what YOU want to do instead of worrying about what others would like you to do.
8. Develop a plan for the direction of your life. Focus your thinking, energy, choices and decisions around living a life that is meaningful to you. At the end of each day, check to ensure you’ve done something that is taking you in that direction.
9. Work on developing your self-reliance – so that although it is nice to have help and support from others, you’re not dependent upon it (or them). Also, being able to think, act and choose for yourself will greatly increase your self-confidence.
10. Work on accepting, valuing and loving yourself. Appreciate the good things about YOU. Notice your successes, and any moves towards living out your goals, and becoming the real you.
11. Choose to live in the moment. Decide not to keep going over the past, or worrying too much about what lies ahead. Notice and relish what is good about “right now”.
12. Choose joy. Allowing yourself to experience joy is freeing, motivating, energising. It keeps your focus on the positives in life.
“It’s not what you broadcast to everyone else that determines the trajectory of your life; it’s what you whisper to yourself behind closed doors that has the greatest power and influence.” – marcandangel
Deep down inside we know this is true; and we know that we hold some self-limiting beliefs.
To help you work through this in your own experience, we suggest taking time to through the following:
1. How do you really see yourself?
2. How do you really feel about yourself?
3. What do you think you deserve from life?
4. What do you think you can achieve in life?
5. Is there a discrepancy between what you affirm – boldly, out loud, in front of the world – and what you expect and believe in your heart?
6. Why are these different? What has happened to undermine your self belief?
7. What might be causing the blockage that might stop you getting what you want in life?
8. What steps could you take to begin to change that?
1. Remind yourself that you are not who other people think or say you are.
2. Remind yourself that everybody makes mistakes at times, has areas of weakness, and things they want to change.
3. Remind yourself of ways in which you’ve grown and changed with time. You’re not who you once were – so celebrate how far you’ve come.
4. Also, the ending isn’t written and the future isn’t fixed. You’re free to change your image, and an old identity.
5. Identify the lies you have believed about yourself – and work on changing them so they’re accurate and true. Also, don’t reinforce the lies by acting like you think they’re true.
6. Remember that your feelings are not the same as facts. Don’t live based on your feelings as that will keep you trapped.
7. Hang out with those who see, and who appreciate, your worth. And take their words to heart, and let them help to build you up.
“You may shoot me with your words. You may cut me with your eyes. You may kill me with your hatefulness. But still, like air, I’ll rise.” – Maya Angelou Let these words inspire you when the struggle feels too much. When you feel defeated, and there’s pressure to give in. Inside you, there is […]
Hope Born from Ashes — Don’t Lose Hope
1. Don’t take criticism personally. Instead, realize that criticism says more about them than it does about you.
2. Distinguish between facts and subjectivity. Most criticisms are just personal opinions. They are not objective and they don’t reflect the truth.
3. Look at the beliefs you hold about yourself. Do you feel defensive and under attack because you don’t believe in yourself?
4. Learn what you can from any comments that are made – and discard the rest as being useless information.
5. Decide not to ruminate on barbs or criticisms – as that will reinforce the faulty message in your brain.
6. Choose to spend more time with people who’re affirming – and minimise the time you spend with those who put you down.
7. Look for a role model who can handle criticism – and try to copy them, so you become more thick skinned, too.
“Start over my darling. Be brave enough to find the life you want and courageous enough to chase it. Then start over and love yourself the way you were always meant to.” – Madalyn Beck
Love you.
Be you.
It’s the only way to true happiness.
And you deserve to be happy.
“You are fine just as you are. You don’t need to prove a thing.” Life often feels like one long competition. Who is the prettiest, smartest, funniest, most interesting … and so it goes on. There is pressure to compare ourselves with one another, and that can often lead to massive self-doubt. So what can […]
Yes, You Can Learn to Love Yourself — Don’t Lose Hope
“You can only ever be who you were meant to be. And at some point, that has to be enough.” And it is enough. You are more than enough. Truth.
Quote of the Day — Don’t Lose Hope
Coaching Skills International 