7 Skills for Coping with Loss — Don’t Lose Hope

“There are losses that rearrange the world. Deaths that change the way you see everything. Grief that tears everything down. Pain that transports you to an entirely different universe, even while everyone else thinks nothing has changed.” – Megan Devine Steven Hayes, the founder of ACT (Action and Commitment Therapy) has outlined 7 skills for […]

7 Skills for Coping with Loss — Don’t Lose Hope

Getting Unstuck — Don’t Lose Hope

There are a lot of reasons why we end up feeling stuck. And one possible reason is experiencing a trauma. Clearly, this is something that we need to address or we’ll live with its effects for the rest of our lives. But assuming that you’re doing this, and yet you still feel stuck, are there […]

Getting Unstuck — Don’t Lose Hope

The Self-Love Tree — Don’t Lose Hope

“It might be hard to love yourself sometimes, but it is harder to not love yourself.” The author Christine Arylo says self-love is a tree. Self-worth is the trunk, and the life-giving branches are associated with the following qualities. – Self-awareness and self-honesty – Self-acceptance – Self-care – Self-compassion and self-forgiveness – Self-trust – Self-esteem […]

The Self-Love Tree — Don’t Lose Hope

How to Tap into Your Inner Strength in the Aftermath of Trauma — Don’t Lose Hope

Below are some common definitions of trauma. “Trauma is any experience of threat, disconnection, isolation, or immobilization that results in physical/ emotional injuries that dysregulate the optimal functioning of one’s body, emotions, brain, spirit or health.” – Mastin Kipp “Trauma by definition is unbearable and intolerable. (Traumatized people) become so upset when they think about […]

How to Tap into Your Inner Strength in the Aftermath of Trauma — Don’t Lose Hope

How to Build Emotional Resilience

Steps to building emotional resilience include:

1. Talk to someone: Sharing how we feel helps to reduce the inner tension (but make sure it is someone who cares about your feelings).

2. Work on improving your self-esteem: Self-esteem is the way you see and feel about yourself … and there are lots of lots of things that undermine our self esteem. For example, experiencing a break up, putting on unwanted weight, doing badly on a test or being excluded by our friends. It’s important that we keep on working on our self-esteem by treating ourselves well and noticing when we succeed (instead of noticing the negatives).

3. Manage your stress levels: If we’re always feelings stressed then it’s hard to cope with life. We tend to over react and have a negative mind set … which drains us of our energy and saps our will to fight. So take a look at your lifestyle and see what you can drop. You may be doing too much, and don’t have time to relax.

4. Make the time and effort to enjoy yourself: Doing things that we enjoy helps to improve the way we feel. So build in little things like having coffee with a friend, or going to a game, or taking time to watch some sports.

5. Choose a healthy life style: Pay attention to your diet and how much you exercise; try to limit alcohol, and don’t deprive yourself of sleep.

6. Develop good relationships: Do your friends make you happy? Do you enjoy their company? Are they kind of people with your best interests at heart? Do they treat you with respect and help to boost your self-esteem? If not, then work on finding new relationships!

How to Deal with hurt and Pain

1. Try to put into words exactly how you’re feeling. Is it the pain of rejection? Is it an overwhelming feeling of shame and self-loathing? Is it a sense of disbelief that you’ve been treated so cruelly by others? Is it a sense of utter desperation?

2. Try to find a way of expressing the pain. Sometimes we can tell the person who has hurt us– but often we feel that they won’t be responsive. If that is the case, find someone you can open up to. It’s really important that you have the chance to honestly express what you’re going through. If you feel there’s no-one you can talk to right now, then perhaps try journaling, or using some kind of art, like music or painting.

3. If the pain’s related to something that happened, admit that you can’t go back and change the past. You need to let it go and keep your eyes ahead. You are not defined by what happened to you, and you have what it takes to live a rich, rewarding life.

4. Related to this, forgive yourself and don’t hold on to regrets. Learn what you can – and then choose to move ahead. Don’t be a victim of your past, or other people.

5. Reconnect with who you were previously. Think of who you might have been if this had never happened. You can still be that person: they are still a part of you.

6. Focus on the things that bring you joy and happiness, and focus on those people who love care for you.