How to Live a Simpler, More Contented Life

1. Ask yourself “What’s important?” Take a step back and think about what’s important to you. What do you really want to be doing, who do you want to spend your time with, what do you want to accomplish with your work? Make a short list of 4-5 things for your life, 4-5 people you want to spend time with, 4-5 things you’d like to accomplish at work.

2. Examine your commitments. A big part of the problem is that our lives are way too full. We can’t possibly do everything we have committed to doing, and we certainly can’t enjoy it if we’re trying to do everything. Accept that you can’t do everything, know that you want to do what’s important to you, and try to eliminate the commitments that aren’t as important.

3. Do less each day. Don’t fill your day up with things to do. You will end up rushing to do them all. If you normally try to do 7-10 things, do 5 important ones instead. This will give you time to do what you need to do, and not rush.

4. Leave space between tasks or appointments. Another mistake is trying to schedule things back-to-back. This leaves no cushion in case things take longer than we planned (which they always do), and it also gives us a feeling of being rushed and stressed throughout the day.

5. Eliminate as much as possible from your to-do list. You can’t do everything on your to-do list. Even if you could, more things will come up. As much as you can, simplify your to-do list down to the essentials.

6. Now, slow down and enjoy every task. Try to slow down and enjoy whatever you’re doing. Try to pay attention, instead of thinking about other things. Be in the moment. Enjoy the present.

Life Goals

1. Be kind

2. Love well

3. Keep hoping

4. Keep believing

5. Work hard

6. Do your best

7. Don’t dwell on the past

8. Forgive other people

9. Forgive yourself

10. Believe in the future, and the person you’ll be.

12 Things Happy People do Differently

Happy people value and choose:

1. Love over Fear: People, who are truly happy, are less fearful and more loving. They perceive every moment, every challenge, and every person as an opportunity to learn more about themselves and the world.

2. Acceptance over Resistance: Happy people know you can’t really change things by denying and resisting them. So when bad things happen, they don’t get angry and complain. Instead, they ask themselves questions like: What can I learn from this? How can I do to make this better?

3. Forgiveness over Unforgiveness: Truly happy individuals understand that it’s destructive to hold on to feelings of anger. Instead, they choose to forgive and let go, understanding that (in the end) forgiveness is a gift they give themselves.

4. Trust over Mistrust: They trust themselves … and they have learned to figure out who is trustworthy – and also those they should avoid.

5. Meaning over Ambition: Happy people do the things they do because it adds meaning and purpose to their lives. They’re not driven by the need to gain acceptance, praise and approval from others.

6. Challenges over Obstacles: Happy people see problems as challenges, and as opportunities to explore new ways of seeing and doing things. That is, challenges are something that help them grow.

7. Selflessness over Selfishness: Happy people seek out ways ways to give to others – of themselves, their time, their gifts, and their money. That is, they’re not self-focused and self-absorbed.

8. Kindness over Harshness: Happy people are gentle and kind with themselves and others. They know the importance and power of self-love, self-forgiveness and self-acceptance – and they freely love, forgive and accept other people.

9. Gratitude over Ingratitude: No matter where they are, or who they are with, happy people have the capacity to see beauty where others would only see ugliness – and they’re quick to express their gratitude.

10. Being Present over Being Disengaged: Happy people know how to live in the moment, appreciating what they have and who they are with. They are not constantly being dragged down by the past, or distracted by what could go wrong in the future.

11. Positivity over Negativity: Regardless of the circumstances of life, happy people are able to adopt and maintain a positive attitude.

12. Taking Responsibility over Blaming: Happy people assume full ownership for their lives. They assume responsibility for their choices, decisions, actions, reactions, beliefs and attitudes.

Powerful Steps to a More Positive Life

If you want to live a more positive life:

1. Seek to focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want: A mistake we tend to make when we’re faced with a problem is to think and talk about it all the time – instead of focusing our thinking on what we want instead.

2. Recognise that every problem comes with a lesson: There’s a lesson to be learned from all that happens to us. We can become a better person, even when things have gone wrong.

3. Don’t believe everything you think: Our problems aren’t as big as the mind tries to convince us. Don’t believe all those negative and self-defeating thoughts.

4. Choose to be grateful in everything: Although it’s hard to be grateful when things are going wrong, we can usually find something we can be grateful for – and the more we choose gratitude, the happier we’ll feel.

5. Let go of your need for perfection: If you try to be perfect in everything you do, you will always feel you’re failing, and you’ll live with constant stress.

6. Let go of resistance: Accept some things as they are – you don’t always have to change everything. Life’s shouldn’t to be a fight.

7. Seek to be present in everything you do: When you give yourself completely to living in the moment, you’ll find that life is easier – and you’ll feel much more relaxed.

You are Stronger than you Know — Don’t Lose Hope

“In the depths of every wound we have survived, is the strength we need to live.” – Unknown You have what it takes to fight this battle. For within you there is a reservoir of strength. A courage and resiliency you only know is there when you’re forced to face hard things. Things you didn’t […]

You are Stronger than you Know — Don’t Lose Hope

How to be social when you don’t feel like it

Below are some tips for those times when you have to be social but would rather stay at home:

1. Give your energy level a boost. It’s hard to be friendly, and to focus on others, if you’re feeling really tired and would rather be in bed. To keep going, grab some coffee or a bite to eat, or go outside and get some cool, fresh air.

2. Have some tactics at the ready if you don’t know the people – or if you have to be with people you would rather avoid. For example, if you don’t like the people, ask a friend to go with you … and have a great excuse for leaving once you’ve done the minimum.

3. Plan ahead to avoid conflict. Aim to stay in control of your reactions and emotions – and resist the pressure to take part in arguments.

4. Control your contribution. If you’re quiet and introverted then value you who you are. Don’t expect yourself to be a party animal. Show respect for yourself by taking time out if you need to, and only talk to people that you want to be around.

5. See it as a chance to practice your social skills. Take the pressure off yourself by practising your social skills. For example, ask a few open questions, and keep the focus on the speaker. Try and come across as friendly through your use of body language – like making good eye contact and smiling while you talk.

Questions for Knowing Yourself Better

1. If you could change one aspect of your life or personality, what would it be?

2. Are you ‘your own person’ or are you defined, and pushed around, by others?

3. Is there any area of your life where you feel out of control?

4. Do you feel more comfortable in an organised or chaotic environment?

5. How comfortable are you with spontaneous ideas, or a last minute change in plans?

6. Do you feel renewed by being around others, or is it crucial for you to have time on your own?

7. Are you motivated, or undermined, by competition?

8. Do you work well under pressure, or do you tend to fall apart?

9. Are you better at praising and complimenting others, or at consciously affirming and building yourself up?

10. Are you a morning or an evening person?

11. Do you persevere, or do you give up easily?

12. Do you like to go with the flow, or take control of your own life?

13. Are you more of a thinker or a feeler?

14. What are your passions and goals?

15. What would your perfect day look like?

10 Things you should give up to be happy

1. Give up your need to always be right.

2. Give up your need for control.

3. Give up blame.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk, and your limiting beliefs.

5. Give up complaining.

6. Give up your need to impress others.

7. Give up your resistance to change.

8. Give up your fears.

9. Give up your excuses.

10. Give up on living your life to fit other peoples’ expectations.

Things to do when you want to give up

1. Take some time out to recuperate. You can’t keep going if you’re running on empty.

2. Take a step back to try and gain perspective – as sometimes we can’t see the woods for the trees.

3. Attempt to take stock of the current situation. Evaluate what you really want and need.

4. Try to re-evaluate your current strategy. What things are working and what things should you change?

5. Don’t be afraid to change direction if you need to. Sometimes that is the best thing – and it opens up new options.

6. Push through the dip – as we all lose momentum. But if you keep on going, you will get there in the end.

Breaking Free from Unhealthy, False Beliefs — Don’t Lose Hope

“Finding yourself is really the process of returning to yourself. It’s a process of unlearning, an excavation, the process of remembering who you really were before this world got its hands on you.”   The following four steps for breaking free from unhealthy, self-destructive beliefs was first suggested by Jeffrey M. Schwatrz, in his book […]

Breaking Free from Unhealthy, False Beliefs — Don’t Lose Hope