1. Focus on your positive qualities. It’s true that we can all improve in some ways – but start by finding your good qualities – and recognise that these are a major part of who you are.
2. Be aware of, and fight against, your negative self-talk. Negative self talk can quickly snowball and become an angry tirade against yourself – so you become your own worst critic and your own worst enemy. Instead, choose to respect yourself, to love, affirm and believe in yourself.
3. Don’t dwell on things you know you cannot change. We all have imperfections, weaknesses and flaws. They’re really not that crucial, and they’re not that big a deal. Try to keep them in perspective – and change what you CAN change.
4. Make your own decisions – don’t always look to others, and think that they know better … But choose to trust yourself.
5. Always try to do your best – as that’s all that is required. You’re a normal human being who’ll sometimes get it wrong. Get up, forgive youself, then just choose to move on.
1. Sort out your priorities. Make time to honestly reflect on your life, and to think about what is important to you. Where are you going? What do you want? What are the steps that will take you there?
2. Focus on the essential tasks. Next, think about your short term responsibilities. Ask yourself: “Out of all the tasks that I have to do, which will get me the greatest return for my time and effort?” Make a list of these types of tasks — they’re your most important things to do this week.
3. Eliminate what you can. Now look at your list. What on the list is not essential? Is there anything there that you can drop from your schedule, delegate to someone else, or put on a “waiting list”. Often when we review these non-essentials later, we find they weren’t necessary at all.
4. Do essential tasks first. Begin each day by doing the two most important tasks. Don’t wait until later in the day as they’ll get pushed aside to make time for other stuff that arises throughout the day. You’ll find that if you do these tasks right away, your productivity will really increase.
5. Eliminate distractions. If you allow yourself to be constantly interrupted by email notifications, IM, cell phones, social media and so on, then you’ll never be productive. Turn them and, if you can, disconnect yourself from the internet.
6. Keep it simple. Don’t waste time on applications that are meant to organise your schedule. Make a simple to-do list with a word document, or with some paper and a pen. Then get started on whatever work you had planned on doing.
7. Do one thing at a time. In most situations, multi-tasking slows you down. You can’t get things done with a million things demanding your attention. Focus on what’s in front of you, to the exclusion of all else. That way, you are likely to achieve more, in less time, and with less effort.
1. Not living in the moment. Always wishing you were somewhere else, doing something different with other people.
2. Blaming your problems on your past. Although the past affects us, it need not define us. We can choose, decide and act – and take control of our lives. Don’t let what happened affect who you become.
3. Running away from problems. It’s pointless to act as if everything is fine when you’re dealing with something that requires your attention. Face reality, take action, and work to turn things round.
4. Being ungrateful. Being grateful sets you free. It inspires all that’s good. Ingratitude destroys you, and will drain your energy.
5. Being angry and bitter. Refusing to forgive, and bearing grudges against others, will slowly start to poison your personality. It’s better to release them, and feel that you are free.
6. Letting your expectations rule your life. Life rarely goes smoothly and according to our plan. And people disappoint us, and hurt, and let us down. Accepting this is normal takes some tension out of life.
7. Disrespecting yourself and others. Each of us is valuable, and is worthy of respect. Also, everyone is fighting their own private battle. So focus on being kind, understanding and forgiving.
8. Neglecting important relationships. A relationship that’s grounded on unconditional love – where we know that we’re accepted, and loved for who we are – is wonderful and precious, and worth investing in.
9. Loving people who are bad for us. Not everyone is good, and wants to build into your life. Be aware of those who who’ll use you, or who want to bring you down. Or, those who want to hurt you, and destroy your confidence.
10. Never taking risks. If you always play it safe, then you’ll end up going nowhere. You need to take some risks, and embrace the chance you’re given. If not, you may regret it, and miss out on a great life.
One day. Just like that! She let go of the struggle. She let go of the stress. She let go of the self-attacking voices in her head. She let go of the need to have it all figured out. She let go of the fear of what could happen up ahead. She let go of […]
1. Ask yourself “What’s important?” Take a step back and think about what’s important to you. What do you really want to be doing, who do you want to spend your time with, what do you want to accomplish with your work? Make a short list of 4-5 things for your life, 4-5 people you want to spend time with, 4-5 things you’d like to accomplish at work.
2. Examine your commitments. A big part of the problem is that our lives are way too full. We can’t possibly do everything we have committed to doing, and we certainly can’t enjoy it if we’re trying to do everything. Accept that you can’t do everything, know that you want to do what’s important to you, and try to eliminate the commitments that aren’t as important.
3. Do less each day. Don’t fill your day up with things to do. You will end up rushing to do them all. If you normally try to do 7-10 things, do 5 important ones instead. This will give you time to do what you need to do, and not rush.
4. Leave space between tasks or appointments. Another mistake is trying to schedule things back-to-back. This leaves no cushion in case things take longer than we planned (which they always do), and it also gives us a feeling of being rushed and stressed throughout the day.
5. Eliminate as much as possible from your to-do list. You can’t do everything on your to-do list. Even if you could, more things will come up. As much as you can, simplify your to-do list down to the essentials.
6. Now, slow down and enjoy every task. Try to slow down and enjoy whatever you’re doing. Try to pay attention, instead of thinking about other things. Be in the moment. Enjoy the present.
1. Love over Fear: People, who are truly happy, are less fearful and more loving. They perceive every moment, every challenge, and every person as an opportunity to learn more about themselves and the world.
2. Acceptance over Resistance: Happy people know you can’t really change things by denying and resisting them. So when bad things happen, they don’t get angry and complain. Instead, they ask themselves questions like: What can I learn from this? How can I do to make this better?
3. Forgiveness over Unforgiveness: Truly happy individuals understand that it’s destructive to hold on to feelings of anger. Instead, they choose to forgive and let go, understanding that (in the end) forgiveness is a gift they give themselves.
4. Trust over Mistrust: They trust themselves … and they have learned to figure out who is trustworthy – and also those they should avoid.
5. Meaning over Ambition: Happy people do the things they do because it adds meaning and purpose to their lives. They’re not driven by the need to gain acceptance, praise and approval from others.
6. Challenges over Obstacles: Happy people see problems as challenges, and as opportunities to explore new ways of seeing and doing things. That is, challenges are something that help them grow.
7. Selflessness over Selfishness: Happy people seek out ways ways to give to others – of themselves, their time, their gifts, and their money. That is, they’re not self-focused and self-absorbed.
8. Kindness over Harshness: Happy people are gentle and kind with themselves and others. They know the importance and power of self-love, self-forgiveness and self-acceptance – and they freely love, forgive and accept other people.
9. Gratitude over Ingratitude: No matter where they are, or who they are with, happy people have the capacity to see beauty where others would only see ugliness – and they’re quick to express their gratitude.
10. Being Present over Being Disengaged: Happy people know how to live in the moment, appreciating what they have and who they are with. They are not constantly being dragged down by the past, or distracted by what could go wrong in the future.
11. Positivity over Negativity: Regardless of the circumstances of life, happy people are able to adopt and maintain a positive attitude.
12. Taking Responsibility over Blaming: Happy people assume full ownership for their lives. They assume responsibility for their choices, decisions, actions, reactions, beliefs and attitudes.
1. Seek to focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want: A mistake we tend to make when we’re faced with a problem is to think and talk about it all the time – instead of focusing our thinking on what we want instead.
2. Recognise that every problem comes with a lesson: There’s a lesson to be learned from all that happens to us. We can become a better person, even when things have gone wrong.
3. Don’t believe everything you think: Our problems aren’t as big as the mind tries to convince us. Don’t believe all those negative and self-defeating thoughts.
4. Choose to be grateful in everything: Although it’s hard to be grateful when things are going wrong, we can usually find something we can be grateful for – and the more we choose gratitude, the happier we’ll feel.
5. Let go of your need for perfection: If you try to be perfect in everything you do, you will always feel you’re failing, and you’ll live with constant stress.
6. Let go of resistance: Accept some things as they are – you don’t always have to change everything. Life’s shouldn’t to be a fight.
7. Seek to be present in everything you do: When you give yourself completely to living in the moment, you’ll find that life is easier – and you’ll feel much more relaxed.
“In the depths of every wound we have survived, is the strength we need to live.” – Unknown You have what it takes to fight this battle. For within you there is a reservoir of strength. A courage and resiliency you only know is there when you’re forced to face hard things. Things you didn’t […]
Below are some tips for those times when you have to be social but would rather stay at home:
1. Give your energy level a boost. It’s hard to be friendly, and to focus on others, if you’re feeling really tired and would rather be in bed. To keep going, grab some coffee or a bite to eat, or go outside and get some cool, fresh air.
2. Have some tactics at the ready if you don’t know the people – or if you have to be with people you would rather avoid. For example, if you don’t like the people, ask a friend to go with you … and have a great excuse for leaving once you’ve done the minimum.
3. Plan ahead to avoid conflict. Aim to stay in control of your reactions and emotions – and resist the pressure to take part in arguments.
4. Control your contribution. If you’re quiet and introverted then value you who you are. Don’t expect yourself to be a party animal. Show respect for yourself by taking time out if you need to, and only talk to people that you want to be around.
5. See it as a chance to practice your social skills. Take the pressure off yourself by practising your social skills. For example, ask a few open questions, and keep the focus on the speaker. Try and come across as friendly through your use of body language – like making good eye contact and smiling while you talk.