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Self Care Tips for when you’re Feeling Lonely

sunrise salt spring

 

  1. Start tackling a project you’d like to work on.
  2. Go for a walk in nature.
  3. Spend time with you pet.
  4. Spend time laughing over funny memories.
  5. Do a photoshoot.
  6. Go shopping (or window shopping.)
  7. Binge watch a TV show you love.
  8. Make a playlist.
  9. Get in touch with an old friend.
  10. Clear out your closet or organize your room.
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Building Self-Esteem when you’re Struggling with Depression

close your eyes
Low self-esteem is a symptom of depression. It’s often very hard to feel good about ourselves.

Our self-image is distorted, extreme and negative, and we start to see ourselves through deeply scratched or foggy lenses.

The following suggestions can sometimes help when you’re struggling with this aspect of your mental health:

1. Get into the habit of challenging your thinking – especially when it falls into the same old repeated, negative patterns.

2. Keep a thankfulness journal – and deliberately look for the good things in your life.

3. Spend time with people who can see your strengths, and who make you feel good

about yourself.

4. Keep some photos or mementos that remind you of your passions – so theses can help inspire you to love your life again.

5. Leave positive notes and quotes around your room, or inside your wallet, or on your desk, or phone.

6. See failure as a stepping stone that leads to further growth – and as something that is common, and experienced by us all.

7. Deliberately nurture and care for yourself – and see this as essential, and a top priority.

 

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How to Stay on Top of Life when you Feel Depressed

hope

Fighting depression can be really hard. Here are some things can sometimes help:

1. Acknowledge how you feel, and accept that this is going to be a more challenging day.

2. Commit to doing the absolute essentials but don’t push yourself to do everything.

3. Prioritize what’s important. For example, if you have a report that has to be submitted, then decide to work on that. However, if it is something that can wait, set it aside for now.

4. Work through your to-do list in small chunks of time – making sure you get plenty of breaks.

5. Tell someone who will understand. We need to get support when we’re feeling low.

6. Be wise in your use of social media. It may be good to deactivate your facebook account, or to switch off your phone to protect yourself from images and comments that leaves you feeling worse.

7. Make sure you leave the house and get a change of scenery.

8. Deliberately invest in some form of self-care – but make sure it is something that you know will help your mood. And remember that tomorrow is another day.

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Tips for Overcoming Fear and Anxiety

courage is doing what is right for you

1. Start small; take the first step; and remember it’s a journey. This is just the beginning. You only have to make a start.

2. Have faith in yourself. At least you’re brave enough to try. If you’re patient and keep trying you’ll get there eventually.

3. Make a list of all your fears so they’re not formless and vague. It is easier to fight them if you know what your fears are.

4. Accept that life is often hard, and fear is natural and normal. Every person who succeeds will have to face and deal with fear.

5. Remind yourself of your successes and the ways in which you’ve changed. You have triumphed and succeeded over obstacles before.

6. Remind yourself that others are convinced that you can make it. You know they’re rooting for you, so derive some strength from them.

7. Imagine how you’ll look and how you’ll feel when you’ve succeed. It’s worth making the effort. Don’t give up: you’ll reach your goal!

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How to get over feeling sad

even the darkest night will end

The following might help you if you’re feeling sad:

1. Make a list of everything you’re thankful for – and try to find some memories that make you smile. There’s nothing like some humour for changing how you feel.

2. Decide to do some fun things with your friends. Although it might be tempting to stay home alone, and to have a bubble bath, or to curl up with a book, you’ll probably feel better if you go out with your friends. It stops you dwelling on your thoughts, and moves your focus somewhere else.

3. Get some exercise. Endorphins are released when we get some exercise. This improves our mood with no real effort on our part (and you may well feel less tired, and more healthy as well).

4. Set yourself some goals and break them down into small steps. As you work through these steps you’ll start to see some gradual changes – and you’ll feel you’re going somewhere instead of marking time.

5. Play it forward. Do something selfless and kind for someone else. It’ll take them by surprise and it will likely make their day. You’ll also feel much better about yourself as well.

6. Tell yourself that it will pass as moods are changeable. Our feelings are so fickle and unreliable. Tomorrow the same things might hardly bother you at all.

7. Recognise that your mind is a fertile battleground. We’re all assaulted by unwanted, critcal, negative thoughts. Try to counteract those thoughts by focusing on all your strengths.

8. It’s different if you’re coping with something serious. If you’re dealing with a trauma, or a crisis, or a death, then don’t avoid the pain – as feeling it will help you heal. In time, the pain will ease and you will be yourself again.

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Why Do I Feel Unloveable?

one day we'll look and back and see how beautiful we were

Often when people feel unloveable, it is tied into one of the following reasons:

1. As a child, a parent or authority figure either told you – or sent the message – that you were unloveable. Because of this, you came to believe that your core self was deficient, unacceptable or inadequate. Now you find it hard to believe that anyone could ever love you as you are, just for being you.

2. You experienced rejection, desertion or abandonment in one of your closest relationships. Now love feels scary, and is a source of anxiety and fear.

3. You feel regret for something you did, or for the way you treated a person you loved. Hence, you don’t believe you deserved to be loved, or you fear you will make a mistake again.

4. You have developed a series of flawed beliefs which have coloured your expectations for love. For example, you may have concluded that love leads to pain …. or that no-one can be trusted … or that love always ends.

5. A voice in your head says you cannot change so you don’t believe that “you have what it takes”. But all of us are learning. Life’s a journey for us all. And being motivated will help you grow and change.

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7 Childhood Issues that Affect our Later Relationships

long after the mind forgets the details

Childhood can have such a profound effect on our future life and relationships. Below is a list childhood issues that can follow us into adulthood:

1. Threats and fear of abandonment. These can lead to jealousy and feelings of insecurity.

2. Lack of emotional nurturing. This can lead to feelings of emotional deprivation – which can feel like a bottomless pit to fill.

3. Growing up with feelings of entitlement. This can lead to feeling as if you don’t have to live by the same rules as others – as you are special, and a bit superior.

4. Being told that you’re inferior or inadequate. This causes you feel like you’re never good enough.

5. The demand to be perfect, and to always get things right. This can leading to being driven – and incredibly high standards.

6. Being betrayed by those you trusted – so you won’t trust now, and you can’t get close to others, or let them get close to you.

7. Being raised is a way that your needs were denied, not allowed, disregarded, trivialised or ignored. This can lead to a doormat type of personality where other people matter – and your needs never count.

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7 Self-Compassion Stress Relievers

go easy on yourself

1. Start the morning with a time of silence so that you feel calm, and are grounded for the day.

2. Set good intentions for yourself. Make sure your automatic thoughts are positive and healthy.

3. Focus on your breathing to relieve anxiety, and create a sense of being strong and in control.

4. Stretch to release any tightness or tension – so you don’t keep carrying the stresses of the day.

5. Set small, realistic and manageable tasks so you don’t start to panic, and feel overwhelmed.

6. Keep your focus on right now – don’t worry about later. Judt do you best to live this moment fruitfully.

7. Before you go to bed, think of 3 things that went right – and end the day with gratitude – then rest, and get some sleep.

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How to Stay on Top of Life when you Feel Depressed

strength grows in the moments

Sometimes it can feel like too much effort to keep going. If you like that today, perhaps the following will help.

1. Acknowledge how you feel, and accept that this is going to be a more challenging day.

2. Commit to doing the absolute essentials but don’t push yourself to do everything.

3. Prioritize what’s important. For example, if you have a deadline to meet, only work on that. If it is something that can wait, set it aside for now.

4. Work through your to-do list in small chunks of time – making sure you get plenty of breaks.

5. Tell someone who will understand. We need to get support when we’re feeling low but not everyone will be there for you. Figure out who will be there, and who won’t be there, for you.

6. Be wise in your use of social media. It may be good to go offline for a while, to switch off your phone and to protect yourself from stuff that just exacerbates the way you feel.

7. Make sure you leave the house and get a change of scenery.

8. Deliberately invest in some form of self-care … and make sure it’s something that you know will help your mood.