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Quote of the Day — Don’t Lose Hope

“Make sure that, in the end, the story is about your strength, and not the pain.” Pain is an inevitable part of life. And often the heartache is outside our control. But there’s also a strength that we never knew we had. The strength to keep going. The strength to win the fight.

Quote of the Day — Don’t Lose Hope
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7 Things which Block your Happiness

7 things which block your happiness:

1. Self hatred and self blame

2. Not being able to let go of the past.

3. Not being able to forgive yourself.

4. Not being able to cherish who you are.

5. Needing other to validate you.

6. Letting other people define who you are.

7. Trying to be perfect, and to please everyone.

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The Reflection in the Mirror — Don’t Lose Hope

Sawubona. This beautiful word in the Zulu language captures so much more than the word hello. Behind the greeting is the powerful message: “I see you, and by seeing you, I bring you into being.” And for me, this loving greeting begs the fundamental questions (questions that I think we all should ask ourselves): “Do […]

The Reflection in the Mirror — Don’t Lose Hope
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10 Ways to Simplify your Life

1. Don’t try to read other peoples’ minds and don’t expect others to be able to read yours. Communicate if it is important to you.

2. Don’t expect to be friends with everyone. We all are different – and we all like different things. Instead, invest your time in a few good friends. That’s all you really need to feel happy and fulfilled.

3. Create a budget and live within your means. Accruing debt will only cause you to feel stressed.

4. Get rid of the monster of jealousy, and only compare yourself with yourself.

5. Organize your clutter and get rid of some stuff. It will leave you feeling calmer, and will save a lot of time.

6. Stay on the sidelines and don’t get drawn into pointless dramas in other peoples’ lives (unless it’s a crisis – and you know you ought to help).

7. Finish what you’ve started, and then do something else.

8. Treat every person you meet with respect, and err on the side of being patient and kind.

9. Accept there are things that you can’t change or control, and focus on those things that you can change or control.

10. Don’t be too proud to apologize. Admit that you were wrong, say you’re sorry, and move on.

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How to Boost your Emotional Wellness — Don’t Lose Hope

If you want to boost your emotional health then build the following into your life: 1. Develop a good group of friends. If possible, try to have a wide group of friends. Then, if someone moves away, or you change your work or hobbies, you’ll still have a healthy support system in place. 2. Learn […]

How to Boost your Emotional Wellness — Don’t Lose Hope
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How to Stay on Top of Life when you Feel Depressed — Don’t Lose Hope

“The only thing more exhausting than being depressed is pretending that you’re not.” Some basic advice for those bleak, tough days …. 1. Acknowledge how you feel, and accept that this is going to be a more challenging day. Call it for what it is, and respect your limits. 2. Commit to doing only the […]

How to Stay on Top of Life when you Feel Depressed — Don’t Lose Hope
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Steps to Letting Go of Painful Memories

Experiences can leave us with some painful memories. They tie us to the past and prevent us moving on. And the only way to freedom is to work on letting go – so these memories don’t haunt us or keep us trapped in pain. Below are some guidelines to help you work on this.

1. Before you can let go, you must face whatever happened and accept that it is part of your past experiences. Suppression doesn’t work as a long-term solution. It can only be a band aid that brings temporary relief. Talk to someone you trust, or write about it in your journal. You need to share what happened, in order to move on.

2. Identify the lessons you have learned from what has happened. There’s always a lesson – so look for what you’ve learned. It doesn’t make it better – but it does lessen its power.

3. Write the lesson down on a piece of paper and repeat it to yourself when you’re hit by memories. For example, if you’ve been scarred by abuse, then you might write something like: “My experience of abuse does not determine who I am. I’m a stronger person now, and that is not my destiny. I’m choosing my own future, and the person I will be.”

4. Repeat this mantra often so it takes root in your mind. Allow it to be stronger than the bad experience. Say it often, till you mean it, then you’ll start to feel you’re freer. Persevere and keep on fighting when those memories return.

5. Seek to be a person who’s a peace with themselves. When peace is your focus, old thoughts and memories have much less power over how you think and feel. However, seeking after peace must be a conscious, constant choice.

6. When the past tries to intrude, focus firmly on the present. Ground yourself in what’s happening around you in the room, and try to breathe deeply – and deliberately relax. You are here in this moment; the past is over now.

7. Forgive – for your own sake. Try to heal from what happened – then let resentments go. You don’t want them in your life for they’ll just tie you to the past. It’s not an easy process; it takes work and discipline. But it is worth the daily struggle – as one day you will be free.

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The Self-Love Tree — Don’t Lose Hope

“It might be hard to love yourself sometimes, but it is harder to not love yourself.” The author Christine Arylo says self-love is a tree. Self-worth is the trunk, and the life-giving branches are associated with the following qualities. – Self-awareness and self-honesty – Self-acceptance – Self-care – Self-compassion and self-forgiveness – Self-trust – Self-esteem […]

The Self-Love Tree — Don’t Lose Hope
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How to Break free of Addiction to Approval

1. Recognise that other people do not determine your worth and value. It’s your life not there’s. They are responsible to themselves for their life; and you are responsible to yourself for your life. Don’t give up your “self” to please someone else.

2. Also, people change, have different values and outlooks and want different things for, and from, us. It’s simply impossible to please everyone all of the time, or even most of the time.

3. Recognise that spending our lives trying to make others happiness is a recipe for failure and low self-esteem. It’s a pointless way to spend your life. It will stop you being happy and true to yourself.

4. Be kind to yourself. Understand that we all have weaknesses, and things that we regret saying and doing.

5. Also, we’re all on our journey – and the journey is harder and more challenging for some than others. Perhaps you are dealing with obstacles that other people have not had to face.

6. Develop your self esteem from within. Decide on the type of person YOU want to be, and work on being true to that.

7. Think about what really matters to you, and the different goals you’d like to achieve – then set these as a priority. That is, decide what YOU want to do instead of worrying about what others would like you to do.

8. Develop a plan for the direction of your life. Focus your thinking, energy, choices and decisions around living a life that is meaningful to you. At the end of each day, check to ensure you’ve done something that is taking you in that direction.

9. Work on developing your self-reliance – so that although it is nice to have help and support from others, you’re not dependent upon it (or them). Also, being able to think, act and choose for yourself will greatly increase your self-confidence.

10. Work on accepting, valuing and loving yourself. Appreciate the good things about YOU. Notice your successes, and any moves towards living out your goals, and becoming the real you.

11. Choose to live in the moment. Decide not to keep going over the past, or worrying too much about what lies ahead. Notice and relish what is good about “right now”.

12. Choose joy. Allowing yourself to experience joy is freeing, motivating, energising. It keeps your focus on the positives in life.