Tips for Getting What you Want out of Life

1. You need to begin by thinking about what you want your life to look like. It’s important to be concrete and specific here – not general and vague. Then, use that information to set clear goals for yourself.

2. Be confident and believe in yourself. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t have what other people have, or should be that individual you’d really like to be. If you’re willing to work hard, and to pay the price required, you can have what you want and find the right niche for you.

3. Keep your focus on your goal – don’t get sidetracked from your dream. You’ll have to keep on going and push through trying times. Remember, the prize is worth the effort; you’ll be glad you persevered.

4. Don’t give into temptation to go for lesser goals, or to do something attractive that won’t lead anywhere. Don’t pretend that you’ll be happy if you give up on your dream. You’ll wish that you’d be stronger and looked at the long-term.

5. If you slip up, just get over it, and move on with your plan. It doesn’t mean it’s over. Get back on track again. The goal is too important to waste time on regrets. Your focus is the future, and what will take you there.

6. Recognise your weaknesses, then plan how you will manage them. That way, you’ll have some strategies to deal with challenges.

7. Finish what you start; don’t give up on success.

Try This — Don’t Lose Hope

Try this. Set aside a time when you can be alone for an hour with your journal. Choose a relaxing place and an unhurried, leisurely time of the day. Make sure there will be no interruptions. It’s just you and your journal. Now, answer the following questions: 1.“What is important to you in life?” […]

via Try This — Don’t Lose Hope

How to Create a Positive Impression

Relationships matter in business and in life. They affect our success and happiness. So it’s worth considering the impression we make, and consciously working on improving this. The following thoughts might be useful here:

1. Smile: People who smile are viewed as being warmer and friendlier individuals.

2. Be easy to impress, or to make laugh and smile: Others also worry about how people see them. If they think that they’re succeeding, then they’ll like you even more.

3. Show interest and liking through your use of body language: Face and look them in the eye when you’re talking to them, and show them you are friendly through your open body stance (uncrossed arms and legs etc.)

4. Remember the power of transfer traits: Basically, that means that if you say nice things about other people, they assume you’ll say nice things about them, too … Or if you criticise others, then they assume you’ll criticise them, too.

5. Poke fun at yourself: It makes you seem more relaxed and approachable.

6. Remember the power of emotional contagion: That means that others tend to pick up the emotions we project. So, if you seem laid back, warm, happy and calm then those you are with will start to feel the same way, too.

7. Remember the name and a few basic facts about the person you are talking to: Such as their job, college major, favourite hobby, favourite food, places they have been to or awards they have received.

Quote of the Day

Don’t allow the scoffers and naysayers to undermine your goals and your self-belief. Decide what you want to achieve in life – then work to make it a reality.

Rules for a Beautiful Life

We all want to have a beautiful life. But a beautiful life doesn’t suddenly appear. It is something we develop day by day, over time, through choices that we make and attitudes that we allow.

And the good news is these are under our control. This means that we can also choose to implement some changes. We can stop, turn around, or we can alter our direction whenever we decide we’d like to do things differently.

How to Deal with Failure in Life

Remind yourself that:

1. This is not the end. You are going to survive. There’s no point in pretending that life is always great. Sometimes we trip and fall, or we make terrible mistakes. Allow yourself to heal, then get up and start again. Take one or two small steps, and know you’re going to survive!
2. Everybody makes mistakes along the way. You’re only a failure if you give up and don’t try. Accept that you are human, and then move on with your life.
3. Positive thinking leads to positive results. If you think you can succeed then there’s a good chance that you will. The mind is very powerful; we create what we believe.
4. Success is closer than you think when you are down. Mistakes can be our teachers; they don’t mean that all is lost. You’re likely one step closer to getting what you want.
5. You are not your mistakes. Don’t fall into the trap of defining who you are by different things you’ve done – or by your failures and mistakes.
6. There are very few mistakes which are truly devastating. Mistakes are merely setbacks. You can always start again.
7. A failure is sometimes a blessing in disguise. Not getting what you want can sometimes be a stroke of luck. It makes you reconsider, and try some different things. And these can often lead to better opportunities.
8. You have the power to determine your own happiness. – You can hold onto the heartaches and the failures of the past – or choose to let them go and fix your eyes on what’s ahead. It’s up to you to choose what will become your destiny.

 

Things to Stop Saying to Yourself

Sometimes we’re our own worst enemy, and we’re far too quick to criticize ourselves. We are harsh and demanding, and we put ourselves down, instead of being caring and compassionate.

So perhaps it is time to challenge this self-talk, and to treat ourselves fairly, and to build ourselves up.

Things to stop saying to yourself include:

1. “I’m no good at …”

Say instead “It’s just a skill, and something I can learn.”

2. “I’m such a failure …”

Say instead “I got it wrong, and everybody makes mistakes.”

3. “There’s no point in trying …”

Say instead “It may be hard, but step by step will get me there.”

4. “Everybody hates me; I’ve got no friends …”

Say instead “It doesn’t really matter what these people think of me. There are others who will recognize my value and worth.”

5. “I hate myself. I deserve to be rejected …”

Say instead “I am beautiful inside, and have value and worth. I deserve to be cherished and be treated well.”

How to be Mentally Strong

There are habits we can form that make us mentally strong, and set us on a course to success in life. They are simple to apply – but require discipline – until they’re automatic, and a part of who we are. In summary:

1. Don’t look to the world to give you an identity. You need to find yourself, and to be true to yourself.
2. Don’t look to your family and friends for approval. It will be a moving target that you’re missing constantly – and will change with the person whose approval you are seeking.
3. Set your own goals in life and believe in yourself. Decide on what success means for you personally – and know that if you work hard you will reach the goals you’ve set.
4. Expect things to take time. Life is not a race – so take whatever time you need to learn whatever’s needed.
5. Expect to meet with setbacks for you’re always going to meet them. And the obstacles we face will help us stretch and grow.
6. Expect other people to put you down, and for some to walk away, or to walk out of your life. People have their own agendas, their own insecurities, and some might have a need to control you in some way. But be true to yourself. Don’t let others’ judgments sway you.
7. Don’t resent others’ gifts, or promotions, or successes. You’re not competing against them. You are on a different pathway.
8. Accept that there are some things which cannot be controlled. This is just a fact of life – so choose to be adaptable. Perhaps there’s something you can learn that will grow you as a person.

How to be More Assertive

Many of us wish that we could master being assertive. We want to state our case – but are afraid of making waves. There are ways that we can do this that command proper respect, allow us to be heard, and be taken seriously – whilst also maintaining the relationship. They include the following:

1. Use the word “I” instead of “You” as it demonstrates the speaker has self respect, and believes that their feelings and opinions should be heard.
2. Don’t stare the person out – but maintain steady eye contact. If you look to the side, look down or look away, it indicates discomfort or timidity.
3. At the same time, pay attention to your body language. Make sure that you seem open, and not hostile and aggressive. For example, your hands and palms should be open and relaxed, don’t point your finger, or wrinkle your face, don’t cross your arms, or look angry and tense.
4. Also, pay attention to the way you speak. Try and moderate your tone of voice, and don’t call them names, swear, or use obscenities. However, don’t start to mumble or speak in a low voice as that can indicate a lack of confidence, and signal to the person not to take you seriously.
5. If you start to notice you’re becoming upset, then work on your breathing – breathe deeply from your stomach – and visualise yourself as someone strong, who’s being heard.
6. Remember that no-one else is going to stand up for you. You deserve to have respected and treated well by others. And you have the power to establish boundaries, and to set appropriate limits on the treatment you’ll accept.

How to be Mentally Strong

1. Don’t look to the world to give you an identity.
2. Don’t look to your family and friends for approval.
3. Set your own goals and believe in yourself.
4. Expect things to take time.
5. Expect to meet with setbacks.
6. Expect people to put you down, and for some people to walk away.
7. Don’t be swayed by pressure from others.
8. Don’t resent others’ gifts and successes.
9. Accept that somethings cannot be controlled.
10. Believe you will succeed, and will make it, one day.