For anyone who’s lost someone they loved … “On the days when you miss someone the most, remember how they loved you, and do that for yourself. In their name. In their honour. Love yourself as they did. They would like that. They would like that very much indeed.” – Donna Ashworth
Quote of the Day — Don’t Lose Hope
“There are losses that rearrange the world. Deaths that change the way you see everything. Grief that tears everything down. Pain that transports you to an entirely different universe, even while everyone else thinks nothing has changed.” – Megan Devine Steven Hayes, the founder of ACT (Action and Commitment Therapy) has outlined 7 skills for […]
7 Skills for Coping with Loss — Don’t Lose Hope
“Your absence has gone through me Like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its colour.” – W. S. Merwin This beautiful, brief poem captures perfectly how a major loss affects the whole of life. Everything we do, and every place we go, triggers thoughts and feelings of ‘how things used to […]
The Pain of Separation and Loss — Don’t Lose Hope
The following is a wonderful description of grief, and how difficult it is to process trauma, pain and loss. Perhaps you’ll find it resonates with your experience. “As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you […]
The Journey Through Grief — Don’t Lose Hope
Signs that life is demanding your attention include:
1. The same themes and patterns (which are usually self-defeating) keep reappearing, or repeating themselves.
2. Hurt, and unresolved issues and problems from your past, are stopping you from living and enjoying your life now. Also, these are triggered more frequently than previously.
3. You have trouble coping with powerful emotions – like overwhelming anger or excessive crying.
4. You feel anxious, restless and dissatisfied, and feel as if something needs to change in your life.
5. You feel dazed or shocked by something that has happened, and can’t pick up the pieces and just ‘be normal’ again.
6. You keep pushing down your feelings, and denying your emotions, but they keep resurfacing – and crying for attention.
7. You’re afraid of digging deeper … so you make a lot of changes that are surface, superficial – but don’t really set you free.
8. You can’t let go of something that meant a lot to you – a disappointment, or a failure, or a past relationship.
Originally posted on Don’t Lose Hope : “The only cure for grief is to grieve.” We don’t just put it behind us and move on. ?We don’t just forget, and start over again. ? We know that doesn’t work. That it’s just a fantasy. That’s not how trauma, or grief, or sadness work. They are…
The following might help you if you’re feeling sad:
1. Make a list of everything you’re thankful for – and try to find some memories that make you smile. There’s nothing like some humour for changing how you feel.
2. Decide to do some fun things with your friends. Although it might be tempting to stay home alone, and to have a bubble bath, or to curl up with a book, you’ll probably feel better if you go out with your friends. It stops you dwelling on your thoughts, and moves your focus somewhere else.
3. Get some exercise. Endorphins are released when we get some exercise. This improves our mood with no real effort on our part (and you may well feel less tired, and more healthy as well).
4. Set yourself some goals and break them down into small steps. As you work through these steps you’ll start to see some gradual changes – and you’ll feel you’re going somewhere instead of marking time.
5. Play it forward. Do something selfless and kind for someone else. It’ll take them by surprise and it will likely make their day. You’ll also feel much better about yourself as well.
6. Tell yourself that it will pass as moods are changeable. Our feelings are so fickle and unreliable. Tomorrow the same things might hardly bother you at all.
7. Recognise that your mind is a fertile battleground. We’re all assaulted by unwanted, critcal, negative thoughts. Try to counteract those thoughts by focusing on all your strengths.
8. It’s different if you’re coping with something serious. If you’re dealing with a trauma, or a crisis, or a death, then don’t avoid the pain – as feeling it will help you heal. In time, the pain will ease and you will be yourself again.
Coaching Skills International 