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Some Questions to Ask When Things Go Wrong

Mistakes and failure are part of life. But they needn’t hold us back; they can help us grow and change.

If this is something you are grappling with, then ask yourself the following questions:

1. Is this something I should take seriously and try to put right; is it something that is worth working on, and investing more energy on?

2. How much is my fault? Is it something I can change further down the road?

3. How much is outside my control; will anything I do really alter the situation or make a lasting difference?

4. Have I done everything I possibly can? Have I tried and exhausted all possible options?

5. Is it something I should put behind me, and decide to walk away from?

6. Who else has gone through a similar experience, or had this happen to them? Who can I talk to who will understand, and give me valuable help and advice?

7. What can I learn from this experience?

8. How can I build myself up again, so I have the needed strength to go forward in my life?

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How do I make a Decision?

When you’re trying to make a difficult decision, bear the following points in mind:

1. Ask yourself if you will look back and feel proud of yourself in a month, a year, or 10 years from now. That should influence the choice you make.

2. Think about the strategies you used when making decisions in the past. What worked and what didn’t? Apply that information to your current decision.

3. Try and quieten the voices around you and listen to your heart.

4. Take your time. Rushed decisions are rarely good decisions. Don’t act in haste.

5. Think about the impact it will have on others, especially those who are closest to you.

6. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Few decisions are irrevocable – and living without risk is a life half-lived. If nothing else, we can always learn from our mistakes.

7. Talk it over with people who know you well, and are willing to be honest, and to speak the truth. (Also, who won’t only say what you want to hear.)

8. Ask yourself: What’s the worst thing that could happen? What are the chances it will happen? And can I survive if it all falls apart?

9. Get as much information as possible. Try to see the problem from every angle, and think about every possible outcome and effect.

10. Take time out and walk away from the decision. Opting for some space usually brings a new, and more objective, perspective.

11. Be brutally honest with yourself. Don’t sugar coat the truth, or try to kid yourself.

12. If you have to talk yourself into making a decision, then the chances are that it’s not a good decision.

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How to get the most out of life

1. See each day as a fresh start and a new beginning.

2. Don’t be a copy of anybody else. Enjoy discovering and being your true self.

3. Be proactive, take control and look for opportunities. You’ve only got one life so make sure you stay in control.

4. Don’t focus on the obstacles or things you cannot change. Just ask yourself “What next? or else “What can I do instead?”

5. Appreciate your limits and then set clear boundaries. You need to care for yourself to be the best ‘you’ you can be.

6. Decide on your values and what matters most to you. Then live in a way that’s consistent with those values.

7. Don’t put life on hold as the months turn into years … and there’s always the chance that some important doors will close.

8. Set goals for yourself – then plan the steps to take you there.

9. Learn from other people that you value as role models – but ignore the negative and the hypercritical.

10. Let go of the past, and old hurts and grievances. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, or to see a counsellor.

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Tips for Overcoming Fear and Anxiety

Some tips for pushing forward when you feel afraid, or are battling anxiety, include:

1. Start small; take the first step; and remember it’s a journey. This is just the beginning. You only have to make a start.

2. Have faith in yourself. At least you’re brave enough to try. If you’re patient and keep trying you’ll get there eventually.

3. Make a list of all your fears so they’re not formless and vague. It is easier to fight them if you know what your fears are.

4. Accept that life is hard, and fear is natural and normal. Every person who succeeds will have to face and deal with fear.

5. Remind yourself of your successes and the ways in which you’ve changed. You have triumphed and succeeded over obstacles before.

6. Remind yourself that there are others who believe that you can make it.

7. Imagine how you’ll look and how you’ll feel when you’ve succeed. It’s worth making the effort. Don’t give up: you’ll reach your goal!

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How do you see Yourself?

“It’s not what you broadcast to everyone else that determines the trajectory of your life; it’s what you whisper to yourself behind closed doors that has the greatest power and influence.” – marcandangel

Deep down inside we know this is true; and we know that we hold some self-limiting beliefs.

To help you work through this in your own experience, we suggest taking time to through the following:

1. How do you really see yourself?

2. How do you really feel about yourself?

3. What do you think you deserve from life?

4. What do you think you can achieve in life?

5. Is there a discrepancy between what you affirm – boldly, out loud, in front of the world – and what you expect and believe in your heart?

6. Why are these different? What has happened to undermine your self belief?

7. What might be causing the blockage that might stop you getting what you want in life?

8. What steps could you take to begin to change that?  

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When you want to give up

1. Remember why you started – what your reasons were. What was the “spark” that got you going, and inspired you to begin on the journey you are on?

2. List all the reasons why you can persevere, and make it to the end so you reach your goal. Remind yourself you have what you need to succeed.

3. Give yourself permission to give up if you choose. That reminds you that it’s you who is in control. You’re choosing to do this as it’s what you want to do.

4. Think of all the reasons why you should persevere – as that will stop you thinking about why you should give up. What are the benefits? What will you gain? How will you feel when you’ve reached your goal?

5. Instead of concentrating on the struggle and the work, focus all that energy on looking for solutions.

6. Recognise success will require some sacrifice. It’s always lots of work, and every winner pays a price. “No pain no gain” is a basic truth in life.

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10 Things to Consider when Making a Decision

1. What strategies have you used before – and which were the most helpful for making the right choice?

2. What is your gut instinct? What does your intuition say?

3. Which of the options appeals to you the most?

4. Will you feel proud if you decide to take this step?

5. How will it affect the other people in your life?

6. If it was a friend who was making the decision, what questions would you ask them? What advice would you offer them?

7. What’s the worst thing that could happen to you here – and what are the chances that this will be the outcome? How would you cope if that actually happened?

8. Do you have to talk yourself into making the decision? If you do, then it is possible you’re making a mistake?

9. How does it line up with your purposes and goals? Does it help to move you closer to your dreams?

10. How will you feel when you look back at your life, ten years from now? Which of the options will you wish you had taken, and why?

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How to Manage your Time Better

1. Have a realistic plan for your day. Don’t just work on impulse, and don’t do try to do more than you can handle.

2. Prioritize your work, and do the most important things first.

3. Know what your distractions are, and take steps to control them (for example, switch off your phone).

4. Start early, and keep on going, even when you feel discouraged or fed up.

5. Know what’s irrelevant, and don’t waste your time on unproductive, or pointless things.

6. Switch between focused work and lots of short breaks.

7. Be flexible if you meet with obstacles, or things don’t turn out the way you’d planned.