It can be hard to figure out what to with our lives. It can be hard to figure out our dreams and passions. The questions below can help you with this:
1. What did you really love doing as a child? What did you seem to have a natural talent for?
2. What are you willing to do for free because it brings you satisfaction and fulfillment?
3. What sorts of things absorb your attention, and cause you to lose all sense of time?
4. Do you prefer to work with others, or by yourself?
5. Do you prefer order and structure, or do you prefer freedom, and the chance to be spontaneous?
6. What would you do, and where would you work, if someone told you they would finance your dream? Would you build a business? Travel? Spend it on yourself? Invest it in doing something meaningful for others?
7. If you were asked to picture the ideal life, what would it look like? What would be all the different aspects and components?
1. Stop fantasizing: Those with too rosy a picture of the future tend to put less effort into reaching their goals. Instead, it’s better to be open to some things going wrong. It will help you see the obstacles – and think through beating them.
2. Visualise process NOT outcome: If you can think through all the steps you will forge a better plan … and it will also help to reduce anxiety.
3. Beware of the “what-the-hell effect”: Too many just give up when they stumble or fall down. It’s better to get up – and to see it as a journey.
4. Attack procrastination: It’s easy to procrastinate when things start getting tough. Make a start, keep your head down, and set yourself deadlines. Once you start you’ll feel much better, and the road won’t seem so hard.
5. Switch out of robot mode: A lot of behaviour is robotic and habitual. We copy other people, or we do the same old things. Take stock, and change those patterns, if they don’t lead to your goals.
6. Know when enough is enough: Sometimes we need to know when there’s no point in going on. We’re flogging a dead horse; things are never going to change. Perhaps it’s time to stop, and to work on something else.
Impostor syndrome is a psychological condition where people are unable to believe in their successes. Thus, despite the evidence that points to the fact that they are skilled, capable and competent they write this off as temporary – or timing and good luck. Thus, they constantly struggle with feeling like a fraud.
So what are some ways that you can counteract this syndrome?
1. Admit this is something that you suffer from. When we know we’re not alone, and our symptoms have a name it can help disperse the feelings of anxiety and shame.
2. Distinguish between facts and feelings. Everyone feels stupid and inept at times. That doesn’t mean we’re stupid. Our feelings aren’t facts.
3. Don’t demand perfection. It is good to set goals and have high standards for yourself. However, it’s unhealthy to obsess over every little thing. You’ll simply waste a lot of time and never feel quite satisfied.
4. Take a look at the rules you have imposed upon yourself. Are you saying to yourself: “I have to always get it right”; or ”I should never ask for help”; or “It is bad to make mistakes”? These are misguided rules that undermine your self-esteem. They set you up for failure as they close the door to help.
5. Change the tapes in your head. Instead of constantly repeating faulty self-destructive thoughts (such as “Wait till they discover just how useless I am”) replace it with a thought that builds esteem and confidence.
6. Don’t look to others to affirm your success. Don’t look to other people to rate and judge your work. Set your own personal goals, and note the progress you have made.
7. Fake it till you make it. Almost every individual who succeeds in life has a time when they’re acting, as they don’t feel confident. It means that they’re still learning, and are not afraid to try.
“A fresh start isn’t a new place. It’s a new mindset.” – Unknown
The following 5 things can keep us stuck in life:
1. Believing negative, unproductive and self-defeating thoughts. These include thoughts like “I could never … I’m not good enough to … I don’t deserve to … I’m useless at …”
2. Blaming others. It’s true that other people can have a huge affect on what happens to us, and where we are in life. But we give them too much power if we let them set our course, and see ourselves as victims, and act like we’ve no power.
3. Taking ourselves too seriously. It’s important to work hard and to have integrity – but we also have to laugh and enjoy ourselves as well. Also, decide to let things go, and put up with some mistakes. You’re not a perfect person and, the truth is – that’s OK!
4. Being afraid to take some risks or to live close to the edge. To have an interesting life you must leave your comfort zone and say “yes” to some new chances and opportunities. It will broaden your perspective, reduce anxiety, and provide you with new options and possibilities.
5. Being afraid of change. It doesn’t take much effort to stick with what you know. The unknown can seem daunting as we don’t know where that leads! But we grow as individuals and lead a richer life if we learn to accept changes, instead of being scared.
“She was never quite ready. But she was brave. And the universe listens to brave.” –
1. Try to get in touch with your dreams. What do you fantasize about doing with your life? What kind of future makes you feel alive, and makes you feel excited, inspired and energized?
2. Read blogs, books or stories about other people who are following their heart, or are living out your dream. Try and glean some insights, and some good ideas from them.
3. Talk to people who will stand behind you, and encourage you to hang in, persevere and push ahead.
4. Identify the different things that matter to you – and which may interfere with you desire to keep on going. For example, the opinions of others, fear of ridicule or failure, a need to make to money and be financially secure. Do these matter more, and will they stop you from achieving, especially when obstacles are strewn along your way?
5. Begin to take some steps, and make some changes in your life. While you’re just thinking and dreaming, your life will stay the same. You need to plan and take some action to change reality.
6. Believe in yourself – and keep on reaching for your dreams. What’s worthwhile will take effort, and commitment, on your part.