“Your absence has gone through me Like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with its colour.” – W. S. Merwin This beautiful, brief poem captures perfectly how a major loss affects the whole of life. Everything we do, and every place we go, triggers thoughts and feelings of ‘how things used to […]
The Pain of Separation and Loss — Don’t Lose Hope
Things that can destroy your motivation include:
1. Not having goals. You can’t reach your goals if you don’t know what they are.
2. Choosing goals that don’t inspire you. You won’t be able to keep on going if the prize at the end doesn’t really matter to you.
3. Expecting immediate results. Anything worthwhile is a battle and a struggle. It takes times and effort to bring about a change.
4. Lack of support. We all need someone to believe in us and to be our cheerleader when we start to feel discouraged.
5. Not believing in yourself. As Henry Ford so wisely said: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”
6. Feeling bored. Most success involves a lot of humdrum work, and repeatedly doing the same kind of stuff. But each day brings you closer to achieving what you want.
7. Inaction and laziness. You have to work the plan before the plan will work … and dreams are only dream till you turn your thoughts to actions. Also, it’s crucially important that you manage your time well, and you don’t get distracted or procrastinate.
8. Being around negative people. There are plenty of people who only see the flaws, and whose eyes are on the problems, and the absence of solutions. If you hang out with them, you will lose your zest and passion, and your positive outlook will soon be undermined.
9. Comparing yourself to others. We each are individuals, and we start from different places; we all face our challenges, and work at different rates. Remember “it’s your journey”. Be patient with yourself.
10. Encountering setbacks. No matter how great your plans, or your level of commitment, you’re bound to face some setbacks and encounter obstacles. That’s a normal part of growth – just keep going when life’s tough.
1. Don’t keep doing things you hate.
2. Stop upsetting yourself with your negative thought
3. Choose to enjoy the simple pleasures of life.
4. Watch what you say. Don’t put yourself or others down.
5. Take care of your body, and love and value it.
6. Develop a life-style that helps to build your self-esteem.
7. Don’t compare yourself to others. Notice how you’ve grown and changed.
8. Stop trying to change others. Simply focus on yourself.
9. Laugh a lot. Enjoy yourself. Don’t take your life too seriously.
10. Accept compliments. Value everything you are.
“No one has the right to judge you, because no one really knows what you’ve been through. They didn’t feel what you felt in your heart.” Keep these words in mind the next time you feel that someone has some view, or opinion about you. – No one has the right to judge you. Absolutely […]
No one has the Right to Judge you — Don’t Lose Hope
Signs that life is demanding your attention include: 1. The same themes and patterns (which are usually self-defeating) keep repeating themselves, or reappearing in your life. Notice these patterns, and then ask yourself: “What is this telling me about myself – my wants, my needs, my hurts, and my past?” 2. Hurt, unresolved issues, and […]
Signs that Life is Demanding your Attention — Don’t Lose Hope
“She was never quite ready. But she was brave. And the universe listens to brave.” –
1. Try to get in touch with your dreams. What do you fantasize about doing with your life? What kind of future makes you feel alive, and makes you feel excited, inspired and energized?
2. Read blogs, books or stories about other people who are following their heart, or are living out your dream. Try and glean some insights, and some good ideas from them.
3. Talk to people who will stand behind you, and encourage you to hang in, persevere and push ahead.
4. Identify the different things that matter to you – and which may interfere with you desire to keep on going. For example, the opinions of others, fear of ridicule or failure, a need to make to money and be financially secure. Do these matter more, and will they stop you from achieving, especially when obstacles are strewn along your way?
5. Begin to take some steps, and make some changes in your life. While you’re just thinking and dreaming, your life will stay the same. You need to plan and take some action to change reality.
6. Believe in yourself – and keep on reaching for your dreams. What’s worthwhile will take effort, and commitment, on your part.
“You can be healing and feel broken at the same time. Healing isn’t a destination we reach where we’re perfect and at peace all the time. Healing is a journey which involves accepting and embracing ourselves as we break, as we heal, and as we reconstruct.” Najwa Zebian 1. Everyone’s trauma is different; everyone’s reaction […]
Some Facts about Trauma — Don’t Lose Hope
1. Stop resisting change and see it as a constant in life.
2. Learn to enjoy, and value, solitude.
3. Never forget that friendship is a gift, not a possession.
4. Things are rarely as bad as they seem at first.
5. Do your most important tasks first thing in the morning.
6. Smiling seems to help with most things!
7. Schedule margin into your life – as something unexpected will often change your plans.
8. QTIP: quit taking it personally.
9. Define what’s necessary; say no to the rest.
10. Take a deep breath and wait before responding. Don’t react, and say something you’ll regret.
Mistakes and failure are part of life. But they needn’t hold us back; they can help us grow and change.
If this is something you are grappling with, then ask yourself the following questions:
1. Is this something I should take seriously and try to put right; is it something that is worth working on, and investing more energy on?
2. How much is my fault? Is it something I can change further down the road?
3. How much is outside my control; will anything I do really alter the situation or make a lasting difference?
4. Have I done everything I possibly can? Have I tried and exhausted all possible options?
5. Is it something I should put behind me, and decide to walk away from?
6. Who else has gone through a similar experience, or had this happen to them? Who can I talk to who will understand, and give me valuable help and advice?
7. What can I learn from this experience?
8. How can I build myself up again, so I have the needed strength to go forward in my life?
1. See each day as a fresh start and a new beginning.
2. Don’t be a copy of anybody else. Enjoy discovering and being your true self.
3. Be proactive, take control and look for opportunities. You’ve only got one life so make sure you stay in control.
4. Don’t focus on the obstacles or things you cannot change. Just ask yourself “What next? or else “What can I do instead?”
5. Appreciate your limits and then set clear boundaries. You need to care for yourself to be the best ‘you’ you can be.
6. Decide on your values and what matters most to you. Then live in a way that’s consistent with those values.
7. Don’t put life on hold as the months turn into years … and there’s always the chance that some important doors will close.
8. Set goals for yourself – then plan the steps to take you there.
9. Learn from other people that you value as role models – but ignore the negative and the hypercritical.
10. Let go of the past, and old hurts and grievances. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, or to see a counsellor.
Coaching Skills International 