How to Cope with Change

coach

1. See it as a process, not a one time event. When you make a change in your life, there are lots of small adaptations to be made. It takes time to process and adjust to those changes – so be patient with yourself.

2. Change the way you think about change. Try to see it in a positive light. Even although there are lots of negatives and challenges, you’re likely to benefit in the end.

3. Face your feelings, and especially the negative ones. If you don’t, they’ll simmer beneath the surface and make it harder for you to cope. Feelings are neither good nor bad. They just are. If you feel bad, you feel bad!

4. Notice any areas where you have control as that will help you to feel less trapped or boxed in.

5. Pay attention to your thoughts and attitudes – and choose to look for the positives, and to frame uncertainties in a hopeful way.

6. Stay in touch with people who care, and can act as a support in this time of change.

You Get to Decide — Don’t Lose Hope

You are the one who gets to decide. Yes, we are wounded. We are hurt; we’re betrayed. Awful things happen. The sky does fall down. This isn’t the life we’d expected to have. It’s not what we wanted; it’s not the life we planned. No, we don’t get a say in the cards we are […]

You Get to Decide — Don’t Lose Hope

It all Counts

Progress. Just make progress. It’s OK to have setbacks … It’s OK to draw a line in the sand and start over and over, again and again. Just make sure you’re moving the line forward … Take baby steps, but at least take steps that stop you from being stuck. Then change will come. And it will be good.” Lysa TerKeurst

It all counts.

Every small step in the right direction makes a difference, even if it’s small.

Even if you don’t notice change at the time.

Even if it feels it is pointless at the time

It all adds up.

You will get there in the end.

Steps to Letting Go of Painful Memories

In order to feel lighter we need to let go

Experiences can leave us with some painful memories. They tie us to the past and prevent us moving on. And the only way to freedom is to work on letting go – so these memories don’t haunt us or keep us trapped in pain. Below are some guidelines to help you work on this.

1. Before you can let go, you must face whatever happened and accept that it is part of your past experiences. Suppression doesn’t work as a long-term solution. It can only be a band aid that brings temporary relief. Talk to someone you trust, or write about it in your journal. You need to share what happened, in order to move on.

2. Identify the lessons you have learned from what has happened. There’s always a lesson – so look for what you’ve learned. It doesn’t make it better – but it does lessen its power.

3. Write the lesson down on a piece of paper and repeat it to yourself when you’re hit by memories. For example, if you’ve been scarred by abuse, then you might write something like: “My experience of abuse does not determine who I am. I’m a stronger person now, and that is not my destiny. I’m choosing my own future, and the person I will be.”

4. Repeat this mantra often so it takes root in your mind. Allow it to be stronger than the bad experience. Say it often, till you mean it, then you’ll start to feel you’re freer. Persevere and keep on fighting when those memories return.

5. Seek to be a person who’s a peace with themselves. When peace is your focus, old thoughts and memories have much less power over how you think and feel. However, seeking after peace must be a conscious, constant choice.

6. When the past tries to intrude, focus firmly on the present. Ground yourself in what’s happening around you in the room, and try to breathe deeply – and deliberately relax. You are here in this moment; the past is over now.

7. Forgive – for your own sake. Try to heal from what happened – then let resentments go. You don’t want them in your life for they’ll just tie you to the past. It’s not an easy process; it takes work and discipline. But it is worth the daily struggle – as one day you will be free.

How to Develop a Growth Mindset

great people do thingsHere are some quick and easy tips if you want to develop a growth mindset:

  1. Choose to frame challenges as opportunities.
  2. Look for the good in every situation.
  3. Seek feedback from people you respect.
  4. Don’t equate the need to improve with failure.
  5. Develop grit; keep working for your goals.
  6. Reward perseverance, commitment and hard work.
  7. Don’t compare yourself to others; be proud of who you are.
  8. Remember we all have the ability to change.

Tips for Getting More Out of Life

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As we head into a new year, here are some tips for getting more out of life.

1. Stop resisting change; see it as a constant in life.

2. Learn to enjoy, and value, solitude.

3. Never forget that friendship is a gift, not a possession.

4. Things are rarely as bad as they seem at first.

5. Do your most important tasks first thing in the morning.

6. Smiling seems to help with most things!

7. Schedule margin into your life – as something unexpected will often change your plans.

8. QTIP: quit taking it personally.

9. Define what’s necessary; say no to the rest.

10. Take a deep breath and wait before responding. Don’t react, and say something you’ll regret.

Top 10 Words of Wisdom from Gandhi

today is your opportunity.PNG

Most people would agree that Gandhi had some things to say that could transform our lives if we took them seriously. So scan the list below and see what resonates with you. Then choose one “word of wisdom” to think about this week.

Perhaps it will inspire and motivate you in some way.

  1. Be the change.
  2. What you think you become.
  3. Where there is love there is life.
  4. Learn as if you’ll live forever.
  5. Your health is your real wealth.
  6. Have a sense of humour.
  7. Your life is your message.
  8. Action expresses priorities.
  9. Our greatness is being able to remake ourselves.
  10. Find yourself in the service of others.

Questions to Ask When Making a Decision

1. What is holding me back from going ahead and making the decision?

2. What is my biggest fear?

3. What will my life be like if things turn out badly?

4. What will my life be like if things go exactly as I hope?

5. Who else is affected by my decision, and what are their thoughts and feelings?

6. How important are their thoughts and feelings?

7. Is there any other information I need, or facts that are important, for making the decision?

8. What would make the decision easier?

9. Can I test the water first, or take a few small steps?

10. How will I feel 10 years from now – if I say “yes” or if I say “no”?