“I did not ask for the things I’ve been through, and I certainly didn’t ask my mind to paint and repaint the memories in the form of flashbacks.” The majority of people who are living with trauma wish they could simply forget the past. But the fact is we can’t just wipe the slate clean, […]Why we Can’t Just Forget the Past — Don’t Lose Hope
1. Focus on your positive qualities. It’s true that we can all improve in some ways – but start by finding your good qualities – and recognise that these are a major part of who you are.
2. Be aware of, and fight against, your negative self-talk. Negative self talk can quickly snowball and become an angry tirade against yourself – so you become your own worst critic and your own worst enemy. Instead, choose to respect yourself, to love, affirm and believe in yourself.
3. Don’t dwell on things you know you cannot change. We all have imperfections, weaknesses and flaws. They’re really not that crucial, and they’re not that big a deal. Try to keep them in perspective – and change what you CAN change.
4. Make your own decisions – don’t always look to others, and think that they know better … But choose to trust yourself.
5. Always try to do your best – as that’s all that is required. You’re a normal human being who’ll sometimes get it wrong. Get up, forgive youself, then just choose to move on.
“You have no idea how easy it is to fall back into the darkness.” – Unknown Triggers and feelings can be powerful and intense. They immediately transport us to a dark and painful place. With no effort on our part, we are back in the abyss. And it’s so utterly exhausting to keep battling the […]Quote of the Day — Don’t Lose Hope
1. Sort out your priorities. Make time to honestly reflect on your life, and to think about what is important to you. Where are you going? What do you want? What are the steps that will take you there?
2. Focus on the essential tasks. Next, think about your short term responsibilities. Ask yourself: “Out of all the tasks that I have to do, which will get me the greatest return for my time and effort?” Make a list of these types of tasks — they’re your most important things to do this week.
3. Eliminate what you can. Now look at your list. What on the list is not essential? Is there anything there that you can drop from your schedule, delegate to someone else, or put on a “waiting list”. Often when we review these non-essentials later, we find they weren’t necessary at all.
4. Do essential tasks first. Begin each day by doing the two most important tasks. Don’t wait until later in the day as they’ll get pushed aside to make time for other stuff that arises throughout the day. You’ll find that if you do these tasks right away, your productivity will really increase.
5. Eliminate distractions. If you allow yourself to be constantly interrupted by email notifications, IM, cell phones, social media and so on, then you’ll never be productive. Turn them and, if you can, disconnect yourself from the internet.
6. Keep it simple. Don’t waste time on applications that are meant to organise your schedule. Make a simple to-do list with a word document, or with some paper and a pen. Then get started on whatever work you had planned on doing.
7. Do one thing at a time. In most situations, multi-tasking slows you down. You can’t get things done with a million things demanding your attention. Focus on what’s in front of you, to the exclusion of all else. That way, you are likely to achieve more, in less time, and with less effort.
“There comes a point when it all becomes too much. When we get too tired to fight anymore, so we give up. That’s when the real work begins. To find hope when there seems to be absolutely none at all.” – Grey’s Anatomy One day it will be different. One day you will be able […]Hope in the Midst of Despair — Don’t Lose Hope
The following can wreck your life:
1. Not living in the moment. Always wishing you were somewhere else, doing something different with other people.
2. Blaming your problems on your past. Although the past affects us, it need not define us. We can choose, decide and act – and take control of our lives. Don’t let what happened affect who you become.
3. Running away from problems. It’s pointless to act as if everything is fine when you’re dealing with something that requires your attention. Face reality, take action, and work to turn things round.
4. Being ungrateful. Being grateful sets you free. It inspires all that’s good. Ingratitude destroys you, and will drain your energy.
5. Being angry and bitter. Refusing to forgive, and bearing grudges against others, will slowly start to poison your personality. It’s better to release them, and feel that you are free.
6. Letting your expectations rule your life. Life rarely goes smoothly and according to our plan. And people disappoint us, and hurt, and let us down. Accepting this is normal takes some tension out of life.
7. Disrespecting yourself and others. Each of us is valuable, and is worthy of respect. Also, everyone is fighting their own private battle. So focus on being kind, understanding and forgiving.
8. Neglecting important relationships. A relationship that’s grounded on unconditional love – where we know that we’re accepted, and loved for who we are – is wonderful and precious, and worth investing in.
9. Loving people who are bad for us. Not everyone is good, and wants to build into your life. Be aware of those who who’ll use you, or who want to bring you down. Or, those who want to hurt you, and destroy your confidence.
10. Never taking risks. If you always play it safe, then you’ll end up going nowhere. You need to take some risks, and embrace the chance you’re given. If not, you may regret it, and miss out on a great life.
One day. Just like that! She let go of the struggle. She let go of the stress. She let go of the self-attacking voices in her head. She let go of the need to have it all figured out. She let go of the fear of what could happen up ahead. She let go of […]She Let It All Go — Don’t Lose Hope
1. Ask yourself “What’s important?” Take a step back and think about what’s important to you. What do you really want to be doing, who do you want to spend your time with, what do you want to accomplish with your work? Make a short list of 4-5 things for your life, 4-5 people you want to spend time with, 4-5 things you’d like to accomplish at work.
2. Examine your commitments. A big part of the problem is that our lives are way too full. We can’t possibly do everything we have committed to doing, and we certainly can’t enjoy it if we’re trying to do everything. Accept that you can’t do everything, know that you want to do what’s important to you, and try to eliminate the commitments that aren’t as important.
3. Do less each day. Don’t fill your day up with things to do. You will end up rushing to do them all. If you normally try to do 7-10 things, do 5 important ones instead. This will give you time to do what you need to do, and not rush.
4. Leave space between tasks or appointments. Another mistake is trying to schedule things back-to-back. This leaves no cushion in case things take longer than we planned (which they always do), and it also gives us a feeling of being rushed and stressed throughout the day.
5. Eliminate as much as possible from your to-do list. You can’t do everything on your to-do list. Even if you could, more things will come up. As much as you can, simplify your to-do list down to the essentials.
6. Now, slow down and enjoy every task. Try to slow down and enjoy whatever you’re doing. Try to pay attention, instead of thinking about other things. Be in the moment. Enjoy the present.
1. Be kind
2. Love well
3. Keep hoping
4. Keep believing
5. Work hard
6. Do your best
7. Don’t dwell on the past
8. Forgive other people
9. Forgive yourself
10. Believe in the future, and the person you’ll be.
For anyone who’s lost someone they loved … “On the days when you miss someone the most, remember how they loved you, and do that for yourself. In their name. In their honour. Love yourself as they did. They would like that. They would like that very much indeed.” – Donna AshworthQuote of the Day — Don’t Lose Hope