8 Ways to Destroy a Relationship

The way you make people feel is your reputation

1. Be abusive: As well as physical abuse, this includes put-downs, sarcasm, negative and hurtful comments, deliberately withholding affection, stonewalling, refusing to talk, and repeatedly threatening to leave the relationship.

2. Be defensive: Individuals who are always on the defensive are so wrapped up in protecting themselves that they rarely grow in their relationships with others. They won’t admit that they have faults and so end up committing the same mistakes again and again. This eventually destroys the relationship.

3. Be critical: While there’s sometimes a place for the occasional remark, if you’re always complaining and pointing out their flaws then you’ll soon undermine your partner’s self-esteem. In all areas of life, a critical person is an unattractive person.

4. Be always right: If you’re always right, the other person’s always wrong – and who wants to feel that they have nothing to contribute, or their point of view is stupid, unwanted and wrong.

5. Be narcissistic and selfish: The person who always has to have their own way in life, or who’s only interested in their own needs and desires has little to add to a relationship.

6. Be dishonest: Trust is at the heart of all good relationships. If you can’t be real and honest, or are not dependable, then there’s no foundation for a strong relationship. This includes being unfaithful or hiding the whole truth.

7. Be superior: If you’re quick to judge others or to put people down, or you think that you are better than everybody else (more intelligent, prettier, cooler etc) then you’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of heartache. For although we all have strengths, and we may excel at times, each person is unique and is worthy of respect.

8. Be controlling: A relationship’s a gift. That person’s not your property. They’re allowed to be themselves, with their own views and beliefs. They don’t answer to you; and they don’t have to change themselves. They’re autonomous and free – and they’re not there to be controlled.

Author:

Certifying coaches and providing specialized online training in addictions, trauma, crisis intervention, relationships, and grief and loss. Visit us at coachingskillsintl.com

3 thoughts on “8 Ways to Destroy a Relationship

  1. 9. Not be aware of how you perceived love in childhood and how you explore that knowledge of love in adulthood.

    It doesn’t matter if you even want to find love in online dating apps, because if you don’t look at your childhood and family dynamics with a pink fairytale lens, you will never be able to truly engage with anyone. Most of the relationships end not because the partner wasn’t good, but because his or her love was unfamiliar.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. My last relationship ended because he is attached to his mother in one unhealthy way. I had a narcissistic father, and I know how it can deplete us. It was easy for me to identify the dynamic, and even my body gave all the signals, so I let my ex-partner do the shitty job to end the relationship. We can’t love people who look at who we are and what we have to offer in a distrustful way.

        We can change, and I never allowed narcissistic behaviors to mold my personality because I know who I am and where I am going. Breakups, in this case, are very painful because things happen from nowhere, but it was the end for me when I saw him telling his mother, in a secretive way, the conversation we had the night before. For them, I was too intense or too much 🙂 I am healthy, and don’t let other people judge because you are real!

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s