Why Do I Feel Unloveable?

one day we'll look and back and see how beautiful we were

Often when people feel unloveable, it is tied into one of the following reasons:

1. As a child, a parent or authority figure either told you – or sent the message – that you were unloveable. Because of this, you came to believe that your core self was deficient, unacceptable or inadequate. Now you find it hard to believe that anyone could ever love you as you are, just for being you.

2. You experienced rejection, desertion or abandonment in one of your closest relationships. Now love feels scary, and is a source of anxiety and fear.

3. You feel regret for something you did, or for the way you treated a person you loved. Hence, you don’t believe you deserved to be loved, or you fear you will make a mistake again.

4. You have developed a series of flawed beliefs which have coloured your expectations for love. For example, you may have concluded that love leads to pain …. or that no-one can be trusted … or that love always ends.

5. A voice in your head says you cannot change so you don’t believe that “you have what it takes”. But all of us are learning. Life’s a journey for us all. And being motivated will help you grow and change.

Author:

Certifying coaches and providing specialized online training in addictions, trauma, crisis intervention, relationships, and grief and loss. Visit us at coachingskillsintl.com

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